The words came out of his mouth even before he knew what he was saying. ‘I’ll lend it to you. If it makes you money, you pay me back. If it doesn’t, then it’s my own fault for giving you dud advice.’
She started laughing and stopped when she realized he wasn’t joking.
‘You’d do that for me?’
Ed shrugged. ‘Honestly? Five grand doesn’t really make a big difference to me right now.’ And I’d pay ten times that if it meant you would leave.
Her eyes widened. ‘Whoa. That is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.’
‘Oh … I doubt that.’
Before she left the next morning he wrote her a cheque. She had been tying her hair up in a clip, making faces at herself in his hall mirror. She smelt vaguely of apples. ‘Leave it blank,’ she said, when she realized what he was doing. ‘I’ll get my brother to do it for me. He’s good at all this stocks and shares stuff. What am I buying again?’
‘Seriously?’
‘I can’t help it. I can’t think straight when I’m near you.’ She slid her hand down his boxers. ‘I’ll pay you back as soon as possible. I promise.’
‘Here.’ Ed reached over for a business card, and took a step backwards. ‘That’s the name of the company. And do this. I promise it’ll help. Can’t have you feeling hemmed in!’
He smothered the warning voice in his head. His faux cheer bounced off the apartment walls.
Ed answered almost all of her emails afterwards. He was cheerful, non-committal. He said how good it was to have spent time with someone who understood how weird it was just to have got out of a serious relationship, how important it was to spend time by yourself. She didn’t answer that one. Oddly, she said nothing specific about the product launch or that the stock had gone through the roof. She would have made more than £100,000. Perhaps she was busy sticking pins into a picture of him. Perhaps she had lost the cheque. Perhaps she was in Guadeloupe. Every time he thought about what he had done his stomach lurched. He tried not to think about it.
He changed his mobile-phone number, telling himself it was an accident that he forgot to let her know. Eventually her emails tailed off. Two months passed. He took Ronan on a couple of nights out and they moaned about the Suits; Ed listened to Ronan as he weighed up the pros and cons of the not-for-profit soup girl and felt he’d learned a valuable lesson. Or dodged a bullet. He wasn’t sure which.
And then, two weeks after the SFAX launch, he had been lying down in the creatives’ room, idly throwing a foam ball at the ceiling and listening to Ronan discuss how best to solve a glitch in the payment software when Sidney, the finance director, had walked in and he had suddenly understood that there were far worse problems you could create for yourself than overly clingy girlfriends.
‘Ed?’
‘What?’
A short pause.
‘That’s how you answer a phone call? Seriously? At what age exactly are you going to acquire some social skills?’
‘Hi, Gemma.’ Ed sighed, and swung his leg over the bed so that he was seated.
‘You said you were going to call. A week ago. So I thought, you know, that you must be trapped under a large piece of furniture.’
He looked around the bedroom. At the suit jacket that hung over the chair. At the clock, which told him it was a quarter past seven. He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘Yeah. Well. Things came up.’
‘I called your work. They said you were at home. Are you ill?’
‘No, I’m not ill, just … working on something.’
‘So does that mean you’ll have some time to come and see Dad?’
He closed his eyes. ‘I’m kind of busy right now.’
Her silence was weighty. He pictured his sister at the other end of the line, her jaw set, her eyes raised to Heaven.
‘He’s asking for you. He’s been asking for you for ages.’
‘I will come, Gem. Just … I’m … I’m out of town. I have some stuff to sort out.’
‘We all have stuff to sort out. Just call him, okay? Even if you can’t actually get into one of your eighteen luxury cars to visit. Call him. He’s been moved to Victoria Ward. They’ll pass the phone to him if you call.’
‘Okay.’
He thought she was about to ring off, but she didn’t. He heard a small sigh.
‘I’m pretty tired, Ed. My supervisors are not being very helpful about me taking time off. So I’m having to go up there every weekend. Mum’s just about holding it together. I could really, really do with a bit of back-up here.’
He felt a pang of guilt. His sister was not a complainer. ‘I’ve told you I’ll try and get there.’
‘You said that last week. Look, you could drive there in four hours.’
‘I’m not in London.’
‘Where are you?’
He looked out of the window at the darkening sky. ‘The south coast.’
‘You’re on holiday?’
‘Not holiday. It’s complicated.’
‘It can’t be that complicated. You have zero commitments.’
‘Yeah. Thanks for reminding me.’
‘Oh, come on. It’s your company. You get to make the rules, right? Just grant yourself an extra two weeks’ holiday. Be the Kim Jong-un of your company. Dictate!’
Another long silence.
‘You’re being weird,’ she said finally.
Ed took a deep breath before he spoke. ‘I’ll sort something. I promise.’
‘Okay. And ring Mum.’
‘I will.’
There was a click as the line went dead.
Ed stared at the phone for a moment, then dialled his lawyer’s office. The phone went straight through to the answering machine.
The investigating officers had pulled out every drawer in the apartment. They hadn’t tossed it all out, like they did in the movies, but had gone through it methodically, wearing gloves, checking between the folds of T-shirts, going through every file. Both his laptops had been removed, his memory sticks and his two phones. He had had to sign for it all, as if this was being done for his own benefit. ‘Get out of town, Ed,’ his lawyer had told him. ‘Just go and try not to think too much. I’ll call you if I need you to come in.’
They had searched this place too, apparently. There was so little stuff here it had taken them less than an hour.
Ed looked around him at the bedroom of the holiday home, at the crisp Belgian linen duvet that the cleaners had put on that morning, at the drawers that held an emergency wardrobe of jeans, pants, socks and T-shirts.
‘Get out of town,’ Sidney had said. ‘If this gets out you’re seriously going to f**k with our share price.’
Ronan hadn’t spoken to him since the day the police had come to the office.
He stared at the phone. Other than Gemma, there was now not a single person he could call just to talk to without explaining what had happened. Everyone he knew was in tech and, apart from Ronan, he wasn’t sure right now how many of those would qualify as actual friends. He stared at the wall. He thought about the fact that during the last week he had driven up and down to London four times just because, without work, he hadn’t known what to do with himself. He thought back to the previous evening when he had been so angry, with Deanna Lewis, with Sidney, with what the f**k had happened to his life, that he had hurled an entire bottle of white wine at the wall and smashed it. He thought about the likelihood of that happening again if he was left to his own devices.
There was nothing else for it. He shouldered his way into his jacket, picked a fob of keys from the locked cupboard beside the back door and headed out to the car.
4.
Jess
There had always been something a bit different about Tanzie. At a year old she would line up her blocks in rows or organize them into patterns, then pull one or two away, making new shapes. By the time she was two she was obsessed with numbers. Before she even started school she would go through those books you can get full of maths problems and ask questions, like, ‘Why is a one written as “1” and not “2”?’ or tell Jess that multiplication was ‘just another way of doing addition’. At six she could explain the meaning of ‘tessellate’.
Marty didn’t like it. It made him uncomfortable. But then anything that wasn’t ‘normal’ made Marty uncomfortable. It was the thing that made Tanzie happy, just sitting there, ploughing through problems that neither of them could begin to understand. Marty’s mother, on the rare occasions that she visited, used to call her a swot. She would say it like it wasn’t a very nice thing to be.
‘So what are you going to do?’
‘There’s nothing I can do right now.’
‘Wouldn’t it feel weird, her mixing with all the private-school kids?’
‘I don’t know. Yes. But that would be our problem. Not hers.’
‘What if she grows away from you? What if she falls in with a posh lot and gets embarrassed by her background?’
‘What?’
‘I’m just saying. I think you could mess her up. I think she could lose sight of where she comes from.’
Jess looked over at Nathalie, who was driving. ‘She comes from the Shitty Estate of Doom, Nat. As far as that goes, I would be happy if she got early-onset Alzheimer’s.’
Something weird had happened since Jess had told Nathalie about the interview. It was as if she had taken it personally. All morning she had gone on and on about how her children were happy at the local school, about how glad she was that they were ‘normal’, how it didn’t do for a child to be ‘different’.
The truth of it was, Jess thought, that Tanzie had come home from the interview more excited than she had been in months. Her scores had been 100 per cent in maths and 99 per cent in non-verbal reasoning. (She was actually annoyed by the missing one per cent.) Mr Tsvangarai, ringing to tell her, said there might be other sources of funding. Details, he kept calling them, although Jess couldn’t help thinking that people who thought money was a ‘detail’ were the kind who had never really had to worry about it.
‘And you know she’d have to wear that prissy uniform,’ Nathalie said, as they pulled up at Beachfront.
‘She won’t be wearing a prissy uniform,’ Jess responded irritably.
‘Then she’ll get teased for not being like the rest of them.’
‘She won’t be wearing a prissy uniform because she won’t be bloody going. I haven’t got a hope of sending her, Nathalie. Okay?’
Jess got out of the car, slamming the door and walking in ahead of her so that she didn’t have to listen to anything else.
It was only the locals who called Beachfront ‘the holiday park’; the developers called it a ‘destination resort’. Because this was not a holiday park like the Sea Bright caravan park on the top of the hill, a chaotic jumble of wind-battered mobile homes and seasonal lean-to tents: this was a spotless array of architect-designed ‘living spaces’ set among carefully manicured paths and lodges, in tended patches of woodland. There was a sports club, a spa, tennis courts, a huge pool complex, which the locals were not allowed to use after all, a handful of overpriced boutiques and a mini-supermarket so that residents did not have to venture into the scrappier confines of the town.
Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays Benson & Thomas cleaned the two three-bedroomed rental properties that overlooked the clubhouse, then moved on to the newer properties: six glass-fronted modernist houses that stood on the chalk cliff and looked straight out across the sea.
Mr Nicholls kept a spotless Audi in his driveway that they had never once seen move. A woman who said she was his sister came once with two small children and a grey-looking husband (they left the place immaculately clean). Mr Nicholls himself rarely visited, and had never, in the year they’d been doing it, used either the kitchen or the laundry room. Jess made extra cash doing his towels and sheets, laundering and ironing them weekly for guests who never came.