What did this to her? She’d seen men die before, but she never reacted like this. Her body never betrayed her like this. Paralyzed with cascading emotions, she couldn’t move. Weakness plagued her limbs, as her face rested against the sharp rubble beneath her cheek. As she heaved, she knew why. She felt it. Part of her was like them, part of her wanted to kill them because she could. In the room, she had stood over Eric’s prone body. The chance was there. She could have killed him. She could have tormented him. Things could have been different. The savage nature of her bloodlust coursed through her body. She’d nearly done it, but at the last second she fled. There was no way to know for certain if Eric was the right man.
Her body trembled, rebelling against the darkness within her. She didn’t want to be like him. She would not be cruel and destroy. Every fiber of her being was repulsed, she couldn’t be like Eric. No. Tears slid down Natalia’s face. She heard nothing except her own body protesting, until she felt Eric’s hands lift her off the ground.
“You’ll be all right,” his voice was soft, as he cradled her in his arms. But she wasn’t. The man she wanted to kill, to tear apart with her bare hands was holding her in his arms like a child, speaking softly in her ear. Oh god, what if I was wrong? What if Eric isn’t the man she’d been searching for at all? The thought shook her. She leaned against his chest, feeling the beat of his heart and closed her eyes, trying to push every thought out of her mind.
Eric looked down at her and cursed. Her frantic heartbeat slowed as she rested her head against him. She should fear him. Terror should course through her veins, but it didn’t. When he held her, he felt her pulse slow. He felt her fear ease. She trusted him and she shouldn’t, but after he acted like this—he finally understood why the girl liked him. She waited for moments like this, moments when Eric acted beyond his own comprehension. Compassion overrode his anger, and doused his rage. The desire to protect her was too strong. As long as he was around, no one would harm her. She knew it. And now, so did he.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Natalia awoke on a massive bed. Sunlight was pouring into the dark room through a window above. Tiny patches of colored light filled the room. As the previous night came back to her, she sat up slowly. The red corset was nowhere to be seen, and she was wearing a black tee shirt that smelled like Eric. The red G-string bottoms were still in place. He must have changed her out of the corset, which she was grateful for. The metal boning dug into her ribs and bruised them while she wore it. Looking around the room she could see that she was inside a group of small buildings that had collapsed on each other. At the center was a stained glass window, probably from a church. That was where the colored light was coming from. The rose window was still standing, held up high above the rest of the mess left from the war.
Natalia didn’t see Eric at first. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust. Or maybe she just didn’t believe what she was seeing. Eric was sitting cross-legged on a stone, watching the dust dancing in the stream of colored light. He looked like a child, frozen, mesmerized by something so common and simple. His hair looked lighter, golden, in the light that crowned his head. His face seemed at peace, and lacked the hostility that was usually pinched between his brow. He stared unblinking, looking almost forlorn, as if he lost something he’d never find.
She cleared her throat, and said softly, “Eric?”
Flinching, he turned his face in her direction. Pushing himself off the stone, he walked toward her. His chest was bare, as were his feet. Dark jeans hugged his narrow hips. The way the sunlight sparkled on his hair, made her heart race. He was beautiful. Eric could feel the change in her pulse, but didn’t realize what she was reacting to.
“How are you feeling?” He stopped in front of her, looking down at her sitting up in his bed.
Her blue eyes were weary, “As good as can be expected.” Shame colored her face, and she lowered her gaze. Images from the brothel flooded into her mind. She wasn’t sure why she was blushing, but for some reason, the idea of seeing Eric there made her squirm. That wasn’t something that she intended on sharing. She hated that she had to go there, but she did. It was in her nature. It was something she needed to survive.
Natalia stared at the bed sheets. There was no trace that Eric had laid next to her and rested last night. The spot next to her was smooth. Pressing her fingers to the bed, she shifted her weight. Last night ended so poorly with her foot crashing into his skull, and after all of that he saved her. Again. Her stomach twisted. There was no way he was the man she was looking for. He couldn’t be. Not after that. If he was the vindictive bastard that slaughtered her mother, he wouldn’t have been so kind. It was that kindness that rattled her. True kindness was something that was rare, but Eric had it in him, and when it came out, she was afraid.
“Eric, about last night…” but he cut her off. Gazing up at him, she saw his amber gaze drift away from her face.
“Nothing happened between us last night.” Folding his arms against his chest, he leaned back against a piece of rubble that had once been a mighty stone wall.
“Eric, I can’t forget last night. I want to…” her voice trailed off. No, she had to spit it out, “But, I shouldn’t have done that. I knew Carina would kill me and I—”
He nodded, his eyes piercing hers so hard that she gasped, “She will. If she gets her hands on you, you’re dead. You don’t screw over a person like Carina, and you did. The only reason you’re alive right now… Ah fuck.” He ran his hands through his hair, and turned away from her. He did it again. He saved her. He saved her from Carina. He saved her from the Valefar. What was wrong with him?
“The only reason I’m alive right now is because of you. I know. I get it. I can’t survive on my own. I’m obviously too stupid to be alive.” She sat on the bed, her lips falling lower and lower at the corners. Eric would give anything to know what she was thinking, why she was at Carina’s in the first place, but she didn’t say. And he wouldn’t ask.