Gavin said nothing, taking deep breaths, bracing himself. He measured carefully. With a pinky, he stretched his lip back, and before he could think more, he slammed his face against the wall.
He shook his head. His lip was bloody and swollen.
The dead man was baffled. “I told you if you want to kill yourself…”
Gavin slammed his face against the wall again.
It took five more attempts to loosen his dogtooth. He wobbled it back and forth, back and forth, his eyes streaming tears, and finally ripped it out with a cry.
It slipped from spit-and-blood-slick fingers. It bounced on the blue luxin, and with his depth perception ruined by having only a single eye, Gavin swiped frantically—
And caught it from the air before it could plunge down the waste hole.
He stood strong, bloodied, body broken, but determined, defiant.
Blue luxin is stronger than fingernails or fists, but enamel is stronger still, and spirit supreme. Gavin took the dogtooth between bloody fingers, and, like the lone, mad beast he was, he started chewing at the wall.
Chapter 25
Kip and Tisis were given their own tent. The idea of having some real privacy was exciting right until Cruxer said, “I’ll be right outside, taking first watch.”
He met Kip’s exasperated gaze with one of his own. “I’m like the commander, you’re like the Prism, right?” Cruxer asked.
“But it’s a tent,” Kip said.
“Thus, not even as safe as a ship’s cabin,” Cruxer said.
“But it’s a… tent,” Kip said.
“We know what you’ll be doing in there. So what? You pretend like we can’t hear, and we’ll pretend like we can’t hear. No comments tomorrow, no jokes. You deal with the brutal hardship of having to make love with your beautiful wife where someone else might hear the blankets rustling, and we’ll deal with having to stay up all night, standing watch in the wind and the rain.”
“You make me sound like an asshole when you put it that way.”
The rest of the squad cleared their throats and avoided his gaze.
“Hey, it’s not like I chose—” Kip stopped. “Wait, I actually did, huh? Fine. I’m sorry.”
He slipped into the tent. It was small, barely big enough for them to sit up; they did plan to carry everything on their backs, after all.
Tisis already had the fresh-scrubbed look of a person who’d just bathed. She passed him a clean cloth and pointed to the small tub of water. “Sleep clean, and we won’t have to launder our blankets as often,” she said.
“If only we’d brought a slave along to worry about such things for us,” Kip grumbled.
She grinned. “I don’t hold it against you, Kip.”
“I do.”
“You’re funny,” she said. “You do the right thing, often the brilliant thing, and then you pretend you didn’t want to do it. What is that?”
“I dunno. I’ve got a whole lotta stupid inside, fighting to get out. And, uh, thanks.”
“For what?”
“For the ‘brilliant’ thing.”
“For calling you brilliant? It’s not a compliment. It’s just the truth. I don’t think you got that armpit well enough.”
He scowled. Trying to sponge bathe yourself while sitting and not slop soap water on your stuff was a pain.
“Hey, I have to sleep with you!” she said. She was teasing, but some part of it pierced Kip.
He looked away and put the cloth in the soapy water again, tried to lose himself in the mechanics of bathing.
“Wait, wait, wait. What was that?” she asked. “Ah hells, Kip, what did I say?”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know you didn’t ask for any of this.”
“Stop that! Stop that. Do you even know how loused up you are? Everything you believe about yourself is wrong. Orholam’s toe cheese, Kip, it’s so frustrating!”
“Toe cheese? Good one,” he said, grinning at her.
“Deflect and redirect. Always.” She sighed and gave up. “They love you, you know.”
“Who?”
“The Mighty.”
“They’re amazing,” Kip said.
“They respect you.”
“Well… they follow me, but that’s, you know, accidents of birth and all. I’m a Guile. I’m a polychrome. It doesn’t happen that often.”
“You think they love you because you’re a Guile?! You… you stupid…” She lay down and rolled over so her back was toward him. “So you know, I was planning that tonight be really good. If you weren’t so infuriating…”
“Huh?” Kip said. “I’m sorry?”
“You don’t understand anything about women, I know. But here’s a tip: when your wife is amorous, don’t make her angry just before bed.”
“Amorous?” Kip asked. He knew what it meant, but how’d he miss—
“Good night, Kip.”
“I’m sorry? I mean, I’m sorry. Really sorry.”
“Good night, Kip.”
“Some people like angry sex.”
“Not me. Good. Night.”
Damn.
Kip thought of lying down, but he wasn’t tired. He’d just fret. He thought about how he’d viewed that card briefly and unintentionally this afternoon. He had another deck of Janus Borig original cards in his pack, untouched since he’d put them there.
There had been two decks—one Andross had owned that Gavin had stolen from him at some point, and then the ones Kip had saved from the fire at Janus Borig’s when she’d been murdered. That had been the deck responsible for this afternoon’s vision. It had been the deck that had nearly killed him.
He really hadn’t wanted to touch any cards ever again after that. But the vision changed things. He was here, totally out of his depth among a new people. He should at least look at the cards to see if there were any that might help him. He didn’t need to view any of them, but he’d be a fool if he didn’t use such a potent tool.
Scrounging in his pack, he found the deck box readily. Pulled out the cards.
They weren’t the same cards. Disbelieving, he fanned the deck on the blankets on his lap. It was a standard deck, no unusual cards, certainly no originals. As if someone had swapped it so the deck box would have the correct weight. Verity?