With bated breath, I watched him take a few steps toward me. He blocked the sun out with his frame and stared down at me. For a few seconds, I just saw him and nothing else. The world fell away when he extended his hand out to me. My eyes flickered down to his open hand, and I would have taken it had I not been entrenched in the ground from shock.
“Come on, Leah, let me help you,” he said to me in the softest voice imaginable.
Leah.
He knew my name. I can’t tell you what that stirred within me. All this time I thought I was some forlorn object in the background of Carter’s life. But no. He… he knew my name.
I swallowed and reached out for his hand. I waited for the bolt of electricity to spark between us – you know, that delicious connection you feel every time you meet someone that has struck you down with their beauty? I’d never felt it before, and I expected it like my next breath. Instead, I felt warmth as he pulled me up to my feet. His skin was rough, and I held it for a moment longer, feeling a pleasant lick of pleasure run through me before I let it go.
I can still tell you every little detail about this moment. I’d spent nights after reliving it. I can tell you how swallowed up I was in his arctic blue eyes. That the smile on his face had lessened as he took me in with equal intensity. Or how little his chest moved, as if he too was breathless. I can tell you that although we didn’t have to touch to feel that electricity, I could feel something like it running between the two of us. It may have been my imagination, but I don’t think so. At least, I’d like to think it was mutual.
It had to be.
“You going to tell me what all that was about?” he suddenly asked me.
“Graeme’s just a bully,” I answered him in a shaky voice.
He looked down suddenly with furrowed brows. I followed his gaze. He stepped off of something and cursed when he looked under his shoe and saw the red streaks along it. I saw the nail polish just then and was horrified the colour had ruined the bottom of his shoe. I bent down to get it just as he did and our heads slammed together. I stumbled back just as he grabbed my arm and steadied me. Looking at me with a heart stopping grin now, he muttered, “Sorry, babe. Let me grab it.”
Babe.
Sorry, babe.
Oh, my God. I’d have been happy to slam heads all day if it meant him calling me that.
He grabbed my nail polish and stood back up. By now, most of the kids around us had scattered, including his friends who all had returned to their game on the court. I watched him study the bottle before he glanced down at my bare feet. Cringing, I realized my toenails were a mess after I’d lunged at Graeme.
The worst part? I didn’t even have nail polish remover.
“He threw it on the ground,” I muttered, feeling a little awkward now.
“Is that why you jumped at him?” he questioned.
I reddened just then. I didn’t know he saw that. In fact, I was so lost in my anger, I didn’t consider there might have been an audience the entire time. I could have sworn I saw him playing, though.
“Yeah,” I said quietly.
He smiled again. “Nice. I’m not used to seeing girls getting their hands dirty.”
I smiled back. I could be a dirty girl. Hell, I’d be the dirtiest girl around if that meant impressing him.
“You gonna tell me what he said to you? I’d like to go back there and give that little dickhead a few more punches.”
I shrugged. “Nothing that needs to be said out loud again. You don’t need to do anything about it. He got what he deserved.”
I resisted telling him about Graeme’s insults in regards to my aunt. I didn’t need a pity party. I also didn’t need to fill him in on how dirty my family was. He might run the other way, or worse, call me a whore too. In hindsight, I know it was silly, because I’m sure everyone knew what my aunt did inside that trailer. But I was twelve. What made sense to me at that age? I wasn’t all that bright. I just had eyes for a certain boy that made a lonely upbringing bearable.
Carter’s lips pursed for a moment as he stared down at me. I could tell he had something to say, but he wasn’t going to say it. Instead, he nodded and said, “Let me take you home.”
“What about your game?” I asked.
He looked past me and at the court. After studying the game for a few seconds, he answered, “They’re doing fine without me.”
He threw the bottle back on the ground and motioned for us to go. What could I do except follow? I’d been longing for time alone with him. Now that he noticed me, I couldn’t mess it up.
Please, Leah, don’t mess it up!
*
He took me home. We said nothing the entire way, but the butterflies inside of me ran rampant with each step I was alongside him. He walked close to me, closer than you would a friend. I opened my mouth several times throughout that walk. I just couldn’t force any words out.
When we got to our trailers, I saw a random car out front of mine and I knew it meant the trailer was occupied. I’d have to be waiting outside again for who knows how long. It didn’t bother me, though. This part of my life was normal for me. I didn’t really know any better.
Turning to Carter, I told him timidly, “Thanks for walking me back.”
I could hardly look into his eyes for more than a few seconds. The constant heat in my cheeks wouldn’t go away. I was completely wound up in him.
“No problem,” he said to me, smiling wistfully as his eyes danced about my face.
Cue the most painfully awkward moment ever. Was he going to give me a “see you later but I really mean never” wave? Or was this an opportunity for me to strike up a conversation to keep him here? I didn’t know. Christ, I was inexperienced. I was pretty much a loner with zero social skills. Being at school nowadays was difficult. Everybody knew about my aunt. Rumours had spread like wildfire, and I was often excluded from activities during recess. I spent more time ignoring people’s wicked insults and learning to keep my face as impassive as possible. Which is why my jumping Graeme was out of necessity. I had nobody to depend on but myself to get out of bad situations.
I had no friends except Rome, an introverted boy that would one day grow to be quite the opposite. Rome was reserved like me and not popular enough to hang with the crowd Carter was prevalently part of. It was during Art class that we hit it off, and it came only after being partnered up for a project due to being the only ones left at the end.