“You gave me the perfect night,” I replied, bringing my hand up to rest on his chest next to my face. “You were the perfect date, Jaxon.”
“I wanted to be. I had it in my head that only I’d be able to give you a good time because I know you so well. I didn’t want you to fall for some loser’s charm so that he could screw you. I worried something might happen if I wasn’t there to protect you.” He sighed deeply and gripped me tighter. “I liked seeing you happy. It made me happy too. I guess I never knew how much the way you feel affected me until lately. Since the night your father threw you down the stairs.”
I stiffened a little. “I needed you more than ever that day.”
“I know, and I was actually there when you needed me the most. Knowing that made me feel like I was responsible for you or something.”
“You’re not.”
“I know, but it didn’t scare me that I felt like that. It actually made me feel good.”
Tingles swept my body as I pondered his words, but I didn’t say anything. He seemed to enjoy talking to me like this. It was such a different side to him I’d hardly seen before.
“When you go to Uni after this summer, I’m coming with you to Winthrop.” This sudden declaration had me looking up at him. “I’ll find us a good little apartment, and I’ll take care of you so you could just focus on your schoolwork. I don’t want you losing your scholarship to stupid shit like money problems and work.”
My eyes watered and I hurriedly went to wipe them, but he grabbed my hand before I could and then looked down at me. “Even crying, you look gorgeous, Sara. I never told you before how beautiful you are.”
Whoa. Who was this guy? Telling me he’d take care of me? Telling me I was beautiful? He continued to stare at me, and after some time I built the courage to lock eyes with him. The mood in the room shifted, and I was suddenly overwrought with nerves and a waterfall of freshly unsuppressed feelings.
He wants to take care of you. He thinks you’re beautiful. This is Jaxon Barlow we’re talking about here!
I don’t know why, or maybe I did knowing what it might lead to, but I moved up and rested my head on the same pillow as his, merely inches away from his face as we continued to gaze at each other.
I knew it was suddenly apparent that we were taking each other in knowing it was going to lead to something else. But that brief time was crucial. It gave either of us the opportunity to cut the tension in the air, reclaim our friend-zone and squash any of these dangerous feelings of attraction.
His eyes wandered about my face, lingering around my mouth and eyes with an intensity that had my cheeks heating up. I did the same; taking in his face, hair, lips, eyes, lips, lips, lips…. God, his mouth looked good to me.
I leaned in just barely but stopped, uncertain of his feelings. The move was enough confirmation for him. Staring deeply into my eyes like I was the only living thing he’d ever known, his lips parted and, squeezing me tighter, he leaned in. The first thing I felt were our noses touching, and then the soft feeling of his full lips brushing against my own.
He stopped to eye my reaction and gently laid his hand on my heated cheek, soothingly stroking it. My heart thumped rowdily against my chest at the feel of him so close to me, awakening every bit of me as if his touch was an alarm clock to my soul.
He kissed me again, this time properly. His lips were soft but firm, claiming mine tenderly. It felt so forbidden doing this; somewhere in the far depths of my mind I imagined Lucinda walking in and catching us with pure shock on her face. Or elation.
He pulled back to look at me again. “Is this alright for you?” he whispered so quietly that it was almost inaudible.
Was it alright? My body was aching for more of his lips. Without answering him, I moved in and kissed him again. He returned the kiss as he brought his fingers into my hair. It was like a fire had ignited between us. The second I felt his lips part and his tongue teasing for a taste of the inside of my mouth, I was about to combust with desire.
I wrapped my arm around his neck and brought him over top of me. He pinned me down with his lower weight, kissing me tenderly one second and then fiercely the next. From passionate to desperation, as if seeking, then finding, then seeking all over again.
No other boy compared to this. Jordan was not this kind of kisser, nor did he bring out the fire in my blood – the kind of fire that coursed through me, igniting me to such a heated frenzy.
I don’t know why I did it because it was certainly not something my inexperienced self would do, but the ache in my core had me thrusting my pelvis up to find the friction against his. I felt the rock hard length of him through his pants and trembled at the sensation. He groaned suddenly and loudly at this contact, breaking the kiss with closed eyes and an opened mouth.
Oh God, did I really just do that? Did I seriously hump Jaxon? I wanted to bury my head under the bed and die a quick death.
I didn’t know if he caught my embarrassment because he didn’t act like it. I felt his lips against my own again and then down along my jaw and neck. He was breathing heavily as he stuck his tongue out to trail it against my neck and then to my chest. He stopped abruptly at my breasts and looked up at me.
“Sara,” he said hoarsely, “please tell me to stop.”
Panting, I looked down at him. He had a pleading look on his face. “Don’t you like this?” I asked, unable to shake the wounded sound of my voice.
“It’s because I like it that I can’t stop.”
“So don’t stop.”
He shook his head. “Sara, you’re going to push me over the edge. I didn’t want this night to be about–”
“Deflowering me?” I interrupted, sarcastically.
He rested beside me again, and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me to him. “I’m not going to take advantage of you.”
“What? I’m all hot and bothered, Jaxon,” I said achingly. “You wouldn’t be taking advantage of me. Just do it.”
He chuckled. “You’re telling me this because you’re horny, Sara, not because you really want it with me.”
“No,” I shook my head adamantly. “That’s not it at all. I want to do it with you.”
I never thought Jaxon would be the one I would give my virginity to, but then the more I thought about it, the more it actually made sense. He was the best candidate, the only guy I ever trusted. Plus he looked so unbelievably sexy next to me, and having tasted him, I wanted his lips all over me again. Just the thought had me squeezing my thighs together.