“Kay, why don’t you take your blocks into the playroom so Mommy can cook, yeah?” I asked him for the hundredth time. He was like Heath, determined to ignore or simply shake his head. Once Kayden had made his mind up about something, there was no changing it… unless I bribed him with chocolate. But I couldn’t do that when dinner was a few minutes away.
Kayden did the ignoring thing and resumed playing with his blocks. Thankfully, the front door slammed open, signalling Heath’s return from work.
“Smells good,” he remarked just as he walked in. He immediately bent down and picked Kayden up, tickling him mercilessly. Kayden screamed and giggled as he was placed on Heath’s shoulders. Already his arms flew up and he was trying hard to grab at the fan on the ceiling.
“Kayden, don’t you dare!” I scolded him before Heath cornered me against the corner and gave me a kiss. “Not now,” I told him, moving away. “I’ve got this stupid meal to do.”
He stared at the stove top and for the first time in a long time, his lips lifted and he smiled. I nearly died witnessing it.
“You need help, babe?” he asked. “Because those steaks look like they’re two seconds away from being charcoal.”
I quickly removed the frying pan and then shut off the elements. I was sweaty and red in the face and my hair stunk of spices and meat. Ugh! This is why I hated cooking. I needed a serious makeover by the time I finished.
“I’ll get Kayden’s high chair and help you set up,” Heath told me.
He settled Kayden down and returned, pulling out the plates I hadn’t already thought to do. He moved around the kitchen smoother than me, dishing it all up when it was supposed to be my job.
“I hope I haven’t messed it up,” I mumbled with uncertainty.
He turned to me and kissed me again. “It’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.”
After setting the table, we sat down and ate. Kayden refused his vegetables as usual, and Heath did that whole choo-choo train game with the spoon. Kayden, being Kayden, whacked his hand away.
“He’s too old and hip for the choo-choo train thing, Heath,” I told him after a bite of super dry steak and barely cooked potato. “Those baby days are over.”
Looking at me, he retorted, “Keep that mouth going and you’ll be over my knee, and we’ll be playing a different choo-choo game.”
The way he said it so seriously made me laugh until my sides hurt. I could tell already our night was going to be very pleasant. Heath was in a good mood. He was actually doing as he promised and trying to be fun.
Maybe, in addition, he was finally getting over Ryker being out of jail and in the same town as us. I’d bitten my tongue that often, holding myself back from asking if he ever thought of seeing him and smoothing things over. It was clear to me that Ryker had no intentions to ever take an interest in Kayden, which left little to fret over for Heath. He was never going to have to share the father role.
I needed to accept that with our kind of history, some ties needed to remain broken. Ryker needed to stay away where he could never impact us again. That’s just what moving forward meant.
As we neared the end of our food, a knock sounded on the front door. Heath stood up and answered. I waited patiently to hear who it was, although I already had a feeling it was Marko.
When seconds passed and I hadn’t heard a thing, I had a feeling something was wrong. I stood and picked up Kayden from his high chair. Cautiously, I eased my way out of the kitchen and to the living area, stopping just out of sight to peer in.
I was right. It was Marko, but he had a look on his face that chilled me. He was whispering in a harsh tone to Heath, gesturing out the door like there was something coming.
“This was not a part of the plan,” I heard him say. “Heath… Fuck, this isn’t good. It’s too soon.”
Heath didn’t respond for a few moments. As if he was thinking about us, he looked over his shoulder, and I froze when he caught me eavesdropping. His face remained solemn, but his eyes softened just a tad.
“How sure are you?” he then asked.
“Pretty damn,” Marko answered.
“Alright. Well, I need you to stay here then. Just in case. Then I need you to run your fucking ass off getting shit ready.”
Marko nodded, and for the first time the cocky bastard wasn’t acting so cocky.
I wondered what the hell was going on. I was anxious and on edge. But like usual, I was out of the loop. Frowning, I moved back into the kitchen and set Kayden down. He raced out of there having already seen Marko, yelling in his broken language, “Mako! Mako!”
Silently, I cleaned up the mess as they sat down on the couch and turned on the television. The noise drowned out their quiet chatter. I kept peeking in, trying to determine how serious they were by the looks on their faces. They had a damn good poker face, though, and it further irritated me. Something bad was going to happen, and for once I just wanted to live a life without this bullshit to worry over! Why couldn’t it be normal?
As I started the dishes, I let in a few deep breaths, trying to control that horrible sinking feeling in my stomach. But it worsened the more time passed, and I ended up abandoning the cleaning to take Kayden to bed.
I avoided looking at the guys as I disappeared with him to the bedroom. I didn’t need to look at them to further ruin my mood.
*
I stroked Kayden’s hair, watching him fall asleep with his Spiderman doll in his arms. He had so much of Lawson in him, but Ryker’s side was really showing. Heath had opened up once about it, telling me that he viewed Kayden like a tiny little Ryker, but the difference was he was saving him from going down Ryker’s footsteps.
I nearly chuckled at that thought. Saving a Lawson. The absurdity! Both the Lawson brothers needed saving! And Kayden didn’t need saving at all. He was a brand new boy in the family, and I knew he was destined to make it right. He was going to grow up and do me proud. I just knew it, deep in my gut. I’d teach him to be gentleman. Heath would teach him to defend himself. And he would learn and get out of this fucked up town and become somebody.
“Yeah, you will,” I whispered to his sleeping frame. “You’re going to become somebody.”
Interrupting my positive reverie was a loud smash out front. I jumped at the sudden noise and leaped out of bed. I followed the sounds to the front door. Heath and Marko were already out front on the porch, staring ahead as another smash erupted. Gripping on the doorframe, I watched a series of men coming out of two black cars, and one of them held up his beer bottle and threw it against the house.