I wrapped an arm around him and kissed him gently. “Well, thank you for worrying about me, but it’s not happening as often. They’re panic attacks. After I got attacked, every morning I’d wake up feeling like I was back there. That fear made my body react, and I’d throw up as a result. Sometimes I feel lightheaded instead.”
He was very concerned. “Maybe you should see someone.”
“I saw a counsellor for a while, but it wasn’t doing much. And the doctors just wanted to put me on medication. Thing is, I don’t feel it throughout the day. Just in the mornings, and it’s been happening less than before, so I think I’m getting a bit better.”
He frowned. “I just don’t want it to happen at all, period.”
“Me neither.”
We continued to lay there for a while after. He continued to run his fingers over my scars reverently, and it was when I started to fall asleep the sound of ringing tore through the silence. I jerked awake and watched him fumble out of the sheets. Naked, he bent down and took his phone out of the pocket of his pants. The screen’s light shone on his face, and I could see the frown forming deeply on it.
“I have to take this,” he said in a grim voice, disappearing into the next room.
I didn’t like when he got called. It usually happened this late at night, and it always took him to different rooms. Sometimes I wanted to eavesdrop to get an idea of what was going on, but I reminded myself that ignorance was bliss. My life was too perfect, and if I had the control to stop it from falling apart, I wasn’t about to sabotage it.
I fell asleep minutes later.
Chapter Sixteen
He likes broken things
It was a distant slam that woke me up in the middle of the night. I stretched my arm out and reached for Ben, but I met empty air. I sat up in bed and fetched his plain tee off the ground where he’d thrown it earlier. I put it on and tip-toed out of the room.
I followed the sound of light voices and stopped at the top of the stairs.
“And this is why I don’t leave you in charge,” hissed Ben.
“I beg to differ,” retorted a male voice. “You don’t leave me in charge because you simply don’t want to. It’s an ego thing for you.”
“Bloody ridiculous, Jamie. You’re paranoid.”
“Oh, so this isn’t because you hate my guts for what I did to you?”
“I don’t care about what you did to me.”
A rueful laugh sounded out in return. “Right.”
“Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be trying to fix your fucked-up relationship instead of bumming a bed off a man you crossed?”
“It’s not a relationship.”
“Yeah, yeah. Keep denying it. Stupid and paranoid.”
“Not paranoid, and you can’t use that as an excuse not to put me in charge.”
“Maybe that time’s coming, and maybe it’s not. Prove yourself first.”
I descended the staircase when their conversation died down. It was approaching the living area that I spotted Ben standing in front of the window, peering out with his arms crossed. His stiff demeanour told me he was in a shitty mood. Since the time I saw Macht, he’d never displayed that intimidating behaviour around me again. But it was in full force now.
I turned my head to the source of the other voice. On the black leather couch was a sprawled out body of a young man. I knew straightaway this was his brother. He had the same thick black hair, pale skin, and tall body. He was in a leather jacket and jeans, looking like a rougher version of Ben.
“I have proven myself,” he muttered tiredly with his eyes closed. “And I don’t see what the problem is. It’s perfect timing. You’ve gone AWOL for a couple months now. I could be taking care of the business while giving you all the time in the world with the half-naked girl standing at the end of the room right now.”
Ah, shit.
Ben’s body whipped around, catching me with a startled look on his face. He hurried to me.
“Sorry,” I immediately said, backing up a step. “I didn’t mean –”
“Did I wake you?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I answered. “It’s alright. I should have waited for you instead of coming down here and interrupting you.”
“It’s fine,” he reassured me. “We were just finishing up now anyway. Weren’t we, Jamie?”
Jamie chuckled sardonically before sitting up on the couch. His movements were slow, giving away how drunk he was. He looked over at me, roaming those eyes over every inch of me.
“I didn’t know you liked jailbait, brother,” he remarked.
“I’m not jailbait,” I snapped at him in shock.
“When did you graduate high school, sweetheart? Yesterday?”
“I skipped a grade, I’ll have you know. And I’m twenty one and graduating College!”
Jamie chuckled for real this time. “Your body has some catching up to do, then.”
My jaw dropped in shock.
“Shut it, Jamie,” Ben snapped, glaring at him before turning to me. “My dickhead brother’s just trying to wind you up. He does that often. Don’t take it personally.”
Jamie smiled, and it lit up his entire face. Well, shit, he was actually better looking than Ben in a pretty boy kind of way, and I felt suddenly severely under dressed.
“I’m only joking. Fuck. Bunch of nuns in this apartment.” He looked me over again and said slowly, “She’s pretty. Prettier than Melinda. I’m impressed, Ben. After that dry spell, I thought you were secretly batting for the other team. What’s this one’s name?”
“This one?” I gaped at Ben in bewilderment. “Your asshole brother thinks he can talk to me like this and get away with it?”
Ben sighed, showing his brother remarkable patience and explained, “He’s not usually like this. Not until he gets on the drink.”
Jamie stood up from the couch and meandered over to us. Looking between the two brothers, it was hard to decide who I wanted to look at the most. Their similarities were startling, but there were noticeable differences. Ben carried himself confidently, whereas Jamie was arrogant all around, reminding me of a sly snake nestled in the bushes, waiting to strike.
“Did he tell you about me?” he asked, eyeing the two of us with his hazy blue eyes.