“They are lovely. Loud and brash and rude, but lovely. I don’t really think I’m considered part of their family, though,” I explained.
“You know, I have known Danny for a very long time and in all that time no woman has been invited to join them here. That tells me all I need to know about how close to being family you are.” His words warmed me, even if I didn’t quite believe them.
“I wouldn’t exactly say that I was invited,” I corrected. “Danny told me to come, and I came.”
“Well,” he chuckled, “that is Danny’s way, isn’t it. You can be sure that for all their talk they will look after you, you know. It takes time to trust people, and faith is a difficult thing to come by, but you’ll get there. And if you need to talk to me about anything, I want you to know that whatever you say will always stay between these four walls.”
“I appreciate that, Father.”
I liked Father Patrick. I didn’t know him well enough to trust him with anything personal about myself, but I appreciated the gesture.
“So, are you nervous about the fight, child. You know, with Con being your man and all?” Seriously! Even O’Connell’s priest thought we were a couple.
“He’s not my man. Not really. We’re just friends.”
Father Patrick smiled indulgently at me.
“Well, we’ll keep that to ourselves shall we? Con is under the distinct impression that if you’re not now, then you soon will be, and I’d really like to win my bet. Then again, maybe you should labour the point just before the fight to make him good and mad.”
“Father!” I exclaimed, scandalised. “That’s terrible!”
He laughed out loud at my reaction and smacked his knee with amusement.
“Kieran was right. You’re so easy to wind up.” He carried on laughing until I couldn’t help but smile.
“I’ve known Cormac O’Connell since he was a lad, wet behind the ears and full of mouth and mischief. Bet or no bet, there’s no one in his corner that will be prouder of him than me, save maybe Danny. That’s what family is. No matter what, they will always be in your corner as you may choose to stand in theirs. Now, is there anything else troubling you or anything that you want to ask?” I bit my lip nervously as I contemplated how to ask him.
“Actually Father, I could use your help with something.”
O’CONNELL WALKED ME home later that night, and he seemed calmer than before, as though the meeting with Father Patrick had settled him down.
“Are you ready for tomorrow?” I asked him.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been more ready for a fight. The hard part is the waiting. Danny doesn’t let me train the day before a fight, other than a few warm-up drills a few hours before. You’re in uni and Kieran’s working, so I’m just gonna watch a few old fights on tape, maybe listen to some music, and get my head where it needs to be.”
“I can skip class tomorrow if you want me to,” I offered, even though I’d never missed a single class since I’d been here.
“I love that you’re so smart,” he told me. “Your eyes light up when you talk about school. It means to you what boxing means to me, so I don’t want you to miss a single class for me. As long as you’re at the fight, I’ll be good.”
“Did Danny say it was okay for me to come?” I asked him worriedly. I didn’t want to watch the fight, but after yesterday, I didn’t think that I could just sit at home waiting, either.
“Don’t you worry about Danny,” he told me.
He didn’t really answer my question, but I trusted that he’d square it with Danny. We made it to my building and stopped.
“Can I stay here tonight?” he asked sheepishly, as though he thought I’d say no. I assumed that he’d be going back to Kieran’s to sleep, so I was surprised that he asked. I couldn’t help but be excited at the thought of spending another night with him, but I knew it wasn’t fair to lead him on.
“Just as friends,” I reminded him, and he grinned doing some weird version of the scouts honour sign.
“Just as friends,” he agreed.
“I have to get up for class tomorrow, though. Won’t I disturb you?” I was reluctant to drive him away, but I also didn’t want to ruin his last decent rest before the fight.
“Sunshine, I’m going to be awake at the crack of dawn tomorrow. That’s if I get any sleep at all,” he explained, as we climbed the stairs to my apartment.
“Do you always get nervous before a fight?” I asked curiously, surprised when he scoffed.
“I’ve never been nervous before. I usually just drink a bit less before a fight, crash, and then wake up and beat the shit out of someone.”
“Then why are you nervous now?” He shrugged his shoulders as we walked into my apartment.
“It’s different this time,” he finally answered. “Danny’s invested a lot of time in me, and I’m worried about letting him down. I’ve given up my job, so without this, I have no income. If I fuck up tomorrow, I could lose my chance at sponsorship and...,” he trailed off, like he didn’t want to carry on.
“...and what?” I pressed.
“I promised you that I’d make something of myself. I don’t want to fuck this up.”
He gestured between us, and for the first time since I’d known him, he didn’t look cocky. He looked absolutely terrified. There was no way that he could go in the ring like this; he’d be crushed. All of that training turned his body into a machine, but without his head in the right place, I knew he’d get hurt. And that thought made my insides cramp up. He sat down dejectedly on my bed, but I stood in front of him until he looked up at me.
“Whenever you’ve lost before, has Danny ever refused to train you?”
He frowned as he contemplated my question.
“No, but I’ve never lost a fight before.”
“What, never?” I asked, shocked.
He shook his head. “When we were kids, he used to let the older kids whale on us a bit to toughen us up. But as far as fighting in matches, then no, I’ve never lost.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course, he’d never lost a fight.
“Okay,” I sighed, “but you’ve known Danny nearly your whole life. Do you think he’d give up on you, or any of his boys, if he knew that you tried your best?”