He knew that he needed to stop if he ever wanted to hear my answer, but it was as if he was afraid to in case my answer was no.
“You are absolutely certifiable, you know that.” I smiled at him.
“I know,” he said, tucking one of my curls behind my ear.
“I love you, Em. I will always love you. Will you marry me?” he asked gently.
Leaning forward, I held his face reverently in my hands and kissed him softly. With tears running down my cheeks, I whispered, “yes, I’ll marry you.”
O’Connell launched himself at me, smothering me with sloppy kisses. I couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction. This strong, beautiful, crazy man adored me and wanted to be with me for the rest of my life. Should I have worried about what the world would think of our getting married so young and so quickly? Probably, but then most people had family and had never been truly alone like we had. Now we would be each other’s family, and I know that the caveman in O’Connell wanted me to share his name.
“How quickly do you think we can pull this together?”
“You don’t waste any time do you?” I laughed.
“You have the most beautiful laugh in the world. It makes me sad that you’ve spent more time since I’ve known you crying than laughing. I promise you that I’m gonna change that. I promise to put a smile on your face every day that we’re married. Even when I make you ‘kick me in the balls’ mad, I’ll make you smile again before you sleep. I know that I don’t deserve you, but I’ll work every day to try to be the man that you do deserve.”
“You’re going to make me cry again,” I admitted, choked up.
I couldn’t believe he didn’t think he deserved me, but then maybe the key to success in any relationship was to always be with someone you thought was better than you deserved. He kissed me again until I pointed out something fairly obvious.
“We don’t have any money to get married. If we want to do this soon, it will have to be a quick Registry Office wedding.”
Crawling onto the bed, he pushed me backwards and climbed over me to nuzzle the side of my neck, making me laugh again.
“I’m not marrying you in some quick Registry Office ceremony. I want to get married in church.”
“Then we’ll set a date for early in the New Year and get married in church.”
“Yeah, we’re not waiting till New Year either.”
“O’Connell, you can’t have everything,” I said exasperated.
“Watch me.” He grinned. “Just leave it to me. I’ll sort everything out.”
“What are we going to do about Frank?” I asked worriedly.
“Nothing,” he told me. “If its okay with you, I’ll move in here until we can afford a bigger place, and if that fucker comes after me or my wife, I’ll make him wish he’d never been born.”
“You shouldn’t underestimate him,” I warned. “He doesn’t fight fair like you do.”
“Baby, I only fight fair in the ring. If he has the balls to come, then let him come. You’re not alone anymore.”
I cuddled in close to my fiancé until I realised something.
“Um, O’Connell. Do you want to jump in the shower?” He laughed out loud.
“You’re not very subtle about telling me I stink.”
“It’s not that,” I lied, “I just don’t want you to catch cold because you’re sitting round my apartment in your sweaty training gear.”
“I ran home from training to get in a few extra miles, and it’s our apartment now.”
“Not until after the wedding it isn’t,” I told him. “I’m not living with you in sin.”
“Whatever, sunshine. I’m pretty sure I can get you to sin even without the living.” With that, he pushed my top up and kissed my belly, slowly working his way up to my breasts as he proceeded to show me just how sinful I could be.
O’CONNELL MIGHT NOT HAVE officially moved in, but I was barely alone for a moment anymore. Until we were sure that Frank hadn’t found me, one of the boys took me everywhere. It was like they’d organised some kind of rota, which was pretty spectacular for them as I was pretty sure they couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery. I have absolutely no idea what O’Connell said to Danny, and forever more it would stay between them. I knew that Danny did a fair bit of cursing and door slamming for a couple of days, but I didn’t know whether that was because he wasn’t happy about the wedding or because O’Connell had told him about Frank. But nothing was said to me until O’Connell passed on the message that Danny wanted to see me in the gym on Saturday morning at nine am.
“What, why?” I asked in a panic.
I didn’t mind getting the talk about how irresponsible we were being, but I’d prefer to have O’Connell by my side when it happened. The gym was surprisingly busy when I got there, and O’Connell winked at me from across the room as he carried on with his hanging sit-ups.
“I’ve made you coffee,” Danny told me as I walked into the office.
“Are you mad at me?” I blurted out. I couldn’t care less what anyone else thought, but Danny mattered to me.
“Why the feck would you think that?” he asked, as he sat down in his chair and lit up a cigarette.
“Because you think we’re too young, and it’s too rushed,” I answered truthfully.
“Do you think that, sunshine?” he asked, carefully.
“No,” I replied without hesitation. “I love him. Time and age won’t change that.”
By now, Danny must have known the full story, so I didn’t pull any punches. “He doesn’t see me as a victim, he sees me as strong and empowered. In his eyes, he’s not good enough for me, when in reality I’m not good enough for him. I want to marry him because he’s the man I want to grow old with. Before him, I didn’t even have hope that I’d get to grow old. This shitty life takes away far more than it gives us, and if I’ve got a chance of happiness, I’m taking it.”
“Well then,” he replied, “doesn’t look like you need my blessin’ does it?”
“I don’t need it, Danny, but I’d like it. We both would. You might not know it, but you’re important to both of us.”