But I did remember Eli kissing me. I just didn’t know if it was real or not. Or how I felt about it.
Finally, I had another visitor, one I wasn’t disappointed to see. Lady Elaine looked far older and frailer than the last time we’d met. She came in and sat on the edge of my bed.
“I’m so sorry,” she said in a resigned voice. “I take full responsibility for what happened. I failed to recognize Marrow for what he was.” She took a deep breath then cleared her throat, the sound like broken glass. “I should have been suspicious when he offered to help analyze your dream journal entries. And even more suspicious when he suggested Bethany would make a good Keeper for the darkkind ring. But I was fooled by his charm and intellect.”
“It’s all right,” I said, uncomfortable with her confession. “He fooled everybody, didn’t he? And he’s like thousands of years old. He’s had a lot of time to get good at hoodwinking people.”
Lady Elaine smiled. “True, but I’m not exactly inexperienced myself. Nevertheless, I thank you for being understanding. And for defeating him, of course. It’s quite remarkable, you know.”
I shook my head, thinking about Mr. Ankil and what he’d told me about the arrogance of witchkind. I’d decided this was the only explanation for how I’d overcome Marrow. Because he was cocky. “I just got lucky,” I said.
Lady Elaine patted my hand. “Sometimes that’s all you need. Now, is there anything I can do for you?”
“I want to see my friends. And my mom.”
“Yes, I’m sure you do. The nurse told me they’re planning to discharge you tomorrow. You’ll be able to visit them then.”
“So they’re not here in the infirmary?” Out of habit, I glanced at the door, hoping I might catch one of them walking by.
Lady Elaine glanced at the door, too, then shook her head. “Selene and Eli left a short while ago. They wanted to see you, but weren’t allowed. Your mother is still here.”
I swallowed. My guilt over what I’d done to her had only gotten worse in the long hours I’d been forced to lie in this bed. “Is she all right?”
“She’s fine. Just very weak.”
“Oh. Has she asked to see me?”
Lady Elaine hesitated, looking uncomfortable. “I don’t know.”
“Okay.” I wanted her to leave so I could have a good cry, but she didn’t seem to be in any hurry. Deciding to make the most of it, I asked, “So what happens now? What did they do with the sword?”
Lady Elaine brushed a piece of lint off the blanket, not meeting my eyes. “It will be destroyed.”
“So no more Will?”
She nodded. “It seems when you killed Marrow the spell broke completely. It was so old and so complicated no one knows how to rebuild it from scratch, I’m afraid.”
“But Marrow isn’t actually dead, is he?” I kept thinking about the way he’d laughed with that sword sticking out of his body, as if he found death nothing but an amusing detour.
Lady Elaine glanced up at me, grimacing. “Probably not. But there’s no way to be certain. So far there’s been no sign of him. I expect there won’t be any for some time to come. We did identify the website, however, but haven’t been successful getting into it yet. Did you know that the name of it, Reckthaworlde, is an anagram for the Red Warlock?”
“I’m not surprised. It seems like the kind of thing … Paul … would do.” Saying his name was hard. Thinking about him was even harder. I was doing my best not to.
“Mmmm,” Lady Elaine said. “Paul has asked to see you. If you want, I will take you to where he’s being held, once you’re discharged.”
I shook my head. My feelings about Paul were a giant tangled mess inside me. I didn’t know what had been real about him and what hadn’t. But I kept seeing his bruised face and wondering if the abuse, at least, had been real. I couldn’t help thinking it was, and that it had played its part in sending him down Marrow’s twisted path. Not that it excused the vile things he’d done.
“I don’t want to see him,” I said. “Ever.”
Lady Elaine sighed. “I’m afraid you will have to face him sooner or later. During the trial, at the very least.”
I swallowed. It was time for a subject change. “So what will happen now that people are allowed to do magic at will?”
She considered the question a moment. “Too early to say. So far, nothing seems to have changed. There’s been no mass revolt or taking up of old prejudices. Things are different now than when The Will was first imposed. Attitudes have changed. Perhaps it will be all right. And I’m sure the senate will come up with other ways of keeping folks in check. There are all those Will-Workers in need of a job, after all.”
I didn’t reply, my thoughts on Eli. He had believed that people wouldn’t suddenly become monsters just because they could. Maybe he was right. “So did the senate publically acknowledge that The Will’s no more?”
“Yes. I don’t believe they had a choice.” An amused smile rose to Lady Elaine’s face. “They’ve been surprisingly open about everything. They even sent representatives to explain matters to the students here during an assembly yesterday. They told them all about the Red Warlock and how you and your friends defeated him.”
I gulped, uncertain how I felt about everybody knowing I’d killed a person. A part of me wished I didn’t know it. I’d already had one nightmare about it. “Why would the senate do that?”