London sighed, his words sinking in. There was some truth to what he said. Maybe she should talk to them. At least she should think about it.
The rest of the drive was spent primarily in silence until Luc’s phone began ringing shortly after seven. When he slanted a glance over to her, she looked down at his phone’s display. Xander. Her heart stuttered.
“I’ll bet Lys gave him my number, damn it,” Luc groused with a grim face as he answered the phone. “Yes, I have her. Yes, she’s safe. Sweetie, do you want to talk to them now?”
She wanted to. Ached to. Hearing their voices . . . nothing ever made her feel better than being close to them. But this wasn’t about soothing her. She had to get her head on straight first. “Not now.”
“Sorry, guys. She needs a little more time.”
“Please!”
London could hear Xander’s frustration through the phone and winced. If she let them in her ear now, even to tell them that she wasn’t angry and that she was all right . . . it would be so easy to let them talk her into burying her fears and opening her arms to them again. But they’d run into this brick wall of her insecurities again and again until they got sick of them and broke it off. How much more would it hurt then?
Luc looked at her expectantly. She shook her head.
“Not going to happen, Xander. And pleading with me won’t work. She was innocent and struggling just to start life. I don’t have any illusions that she’s innocent anymore, and this relationship has heaped a lot of emotional shit on her shoulders that she’s trying to process. Find some fucking patience. She’ll call you if she wants to talk.”
Luc was more than a little harsh with Xander, and when Luc disconnected the call, she knew Xander wouldn’t try to reach her again through her cousin or her husband.
“I wanted a lover, you know.” The confession croaked out. London felt her face flame, but she needed to get this off her chest. Alyssa would comfort her, no matter what she said. But Luc was proving to be a straight shooter. “I wanted not just to be alive but to feel alive.”
“Sex isn’t a life.”
“But sex is a part of life, and I’ve experienced so little in mine. I just wanted . . . everything. A job, friends, independence. I can say I had those briefly, I guess. At least, I can check a broken heart off my list now,” she tried to joke.
He sighed and looked at her with such understanding she nearly cried. “Sweetie, you’ll have all the experiences you need. I understand that you lost ten years and it’s made you anxious to catch up. But there’s a reason parents try to protect their teenagers from experiencing everything too fast.” When she would have opened her mouth to object, Luc held up a hand. “I know you’re not a teenager anymore. If you had been, your ass would be grounded now. But I’m just saying that you have to understand that not every experience is good. And those that are aren’t always easy. Be patient with yourself. And while you’re at it—God, I can’t believe I’m going to say this—but maybe you should be patient with them. If they’re calling all over hell this early in the morning, they care.”
That was probably good advice. Could she really put it to good use? Her natural inclination was to want to settle problems and questions as soon as they cropped up. But this one was too important to rush.
“Thanks. I really do appreciate you.”
“Glad to hear it. You can stay up and spend time with Chloe. I’m going back to bed when we get home.”
At first, she tensed. She shouldn’t be alone with the toddler, and Luc knew it. But he’d be in the next room. She had to start trusting herself. Then she’d see about trusting others.
She laughed at him. “You’re on.”
They arrived in Lafayette midmorning. Alyssa hugged her tightly the second she walked in the door. “We’ll talk when I get home. About anything you want. As long as you want.”
But her cousin’s demeanor said she was late for work, so London shoved her out the door. “Go. Luc is going back to bed. I got this.”
Alyssa smiled, looking as beautiful as ever in a black ruffled blouse, a short cream-colored skirt, and two-toned peep-toe stilettos. London sighed in envy when Alyssa gave Luc a lingering kiss. She could feel the love between them. Luc had embraced her cousin’s terrible past. Lys accepted his shortcomings. They shared a great life, a wonderful house, a beautiful baby. Instead of asking if it was enough, they just went with it and took life as it came.
Maybe she had overreacted to Xander and Javier being so insistent about seeing her back. No, she wasn’t ready today, but tomorrow?
Chloe cuddled up in her arms when Alyssa bopped out the door with a wave. Luc locked up behind her, then stumbled back to the bedroom. With a smile, London nibbled on a late breakfast, watched the toddler, and tried to clear her head.
When Luc woke a few hours later, London handed his daughter to him with a grateful smile. Then she grabbed her phone and turned it on, just in case. Ignoring the four voice mails and umpteen missed calls, she shoved it in her pocket, palmed her keys, and let herself out for a walk. It was damn hot, and she’d soon swelter, but she had to keep training for her 5K. And she needed some peace and quiet.
London wandered for a while, wiping the perspiration from her brow, and found herself in front of the office building she’d shared with Javier and Xander. A bittersweet pang wrenched her chest. She should just keep walking. If she wanted a clear head, being in the space in which the men she loved had seduced her, body and heart, wasn’t smart. But she wasn’t quite strong enough to resist the temptation.
She let herself into the lobby, halfway thankful that the copy and postage facility on the bottom floor dictated that the building remain open seven days a week. With shaking fingers, she called the elevator, then proceeded to the office door, letting herself inside with the key Javier had given her on day one.
Pushing inside the dark room, she turned to flip on the lights.
Before she could, a hard body barged in behind her, shoving her into the room. As she stumbled to find her balance, London heard the door close almost silently. The intruder—a man, based on his grip—grabbed her arm and threw the lock home. She turned to stare at him over her shoulder, and he covered her gasp with his gloved hand.
With her heart pounding, London peered up into his cold dark eyes. Without a word, she knew he was a predator of the worst kind. He had no soul.
“So sorry, love,” he muttered with a French accent.
London didn’t understand his apology—until he lifted a length of rope between them and brought it toward her neck.
Chapter Nineteen
“HAPPY seven a.m. This fucking better be good,” Nick Navarro growled in his ear.