But she couldn’t deny that the bed felt heavenly soft. Kata was sorely tempted to close her eyes and sink into sleep.
“This is totally ridiculous.” She struggled to find her feet and get them under her.
“I agree.” His big body came over hers. His face, even in the shadowed room, said he was very serious. “I love your spirit, but if you don’t take care of yourself properly, I’ll intercede.”
Every word out of his mouth sounded too much like the Colonel talking to her mother, commanding and making decisions, without regard to her feelings. Without really listening.
Kata sagged back to the mattress, closing her weary eyes, though thoughts ricocheted through her brain. Were they both destined to be like their parents? The awful question crashed over her. Hunter behaved like a younger replica of his father—determined, protective, bossy, unbending. Just this morning, she had realized that she was more like her mother than she’d ever imagined.
A part of her had been hoping that Hunter was right, that the budding love between them would prevail. But how, when every day brought more proof that this relationship would probably destroy her—and she, slave to the increasing submissive weakness inside her, would let it happen?
Hunter leaned over and placed a brief kiss on her forehead. Even while furious, the connection between them sparked across her skin. Everything inside her yearned for more.
The truth hit her—a slap across raw cheeks. She’d fallen in love with a man who would steal her independence, even as she became addicted to his touch and was ruined for every other man.
The Colonel had cowed her mother into silence in less than five minutes. Granted, she was beat down with sickness and years with Gordon. But Kata wondered how long would it take Hunter to twist her into the same submission. Five years? One? Less? How long before she lost herself to him and her self-respect?
That was a question she had to make certain she couldn’t ever answer.
Chapter Seventeen
HUNTER and Kata emerged from the bedroom to find that the Colonel had fixed Carlotta’s dinner, as he should have, in Hunter’s estimation. He’d spent the last twenty minutes with his lips against hers, his hands soothing her aching muscles. He wished she’d sleep, but she was too worried about her mother to do that now. Once Carlotta got settled, he’d be sure that Kata did the same.
Rolling his stiff, still-healing shoulder, Hunter reheated the Chinese food, then sat down to a plate of steaming vegetables, kung pao chicken, and steamed rice. Carlotta watched Kata pick at her beef and broccoli—and sneak a puzzled glance every now and again at his father.
After the meal, the men cleaned the kitchen with efficient silence, admonishing the women to stay put. Then the Colonel lifted Carlotta in his arms. Despite the woman’s tired protests, he carried Kata’s mother to her bedroom upstairs, down the hall from his own.
Kata followed the pair, then gave her mother some medicine, tucking her in. After Kata planted a kiss on her mom’s cheek, and Carlotta gave her daughter a weak smile, the woman drifted off. Hunter watched from the doorway as concern fell across Kata’s face.
“She’s going to be just fine.” He caressed her shoulder. “She’ll get plenty of rest.”
“If she takes a turn for the worse, I’ll get her back to the doctor ASAP,” his father vowed.
“Thank you,” she addressed the Colonel. “Remember that she’s hurting more than physically. She needs not only your care, but for you to listen to her.”
With that, Kata shouldered her way past them, out of the room. Hunter saw his father wince.
“I guess that’s your wife’s way of saying I’ve been a bulldozer. She’s right.”
“She thinks the same of me.” Hunter shoved his hands in his pockets. “You and I, we’re cut from the same cloth. I don’t know a different way to take care of Kata. I love her.”
The Colonel shot him an unreadable stare. “Tread carefully, son. If you hold on too tightly, she’ll force you to let her go.”
Hunter heard the voice of reason, experience.
“Is that what happened with you and Mom?”
He shouldn’t ask. Hunter knew it . . . but damn it, to this day he didn’t understand why his father had simply let Amanda go. The Colonel had never explained, and after she’d left, Hunter had never seen his mother again. Maybe understanding would help him with his own disintegrating union.
“In retrospect, yeah. I controlled so much of her life to avoid losing her that it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.” The Colonel rubbed the back of his neck. “Amanda wanted more affection, wanted to know I valued her feelings and opinions. The only things I was good at were protecting her and, when I wasn’t deployed, showing her how much I desired her. It wasn’t enough.”
Hunter damn near choked. It sounded too fucking parallel. “She wanted to leave. I get it. But you gave up and let her go so easily.”
“You think that was easy?” the Colonel growled. “Letting her go was the fucking hardest thing I’ve ever done. I loved her, but didn’t know how to be what she wanted. I gave her some space, agreed to the separation. I’d hoped the strategy would show her that I’d changed. But then I found out she’d been seeing someone else. I was so furious, but up until the day she was killed, I kept hoping that she would come back to me. Eventually, I realized that I’d loved her enough to set her free. She just didn’t love me enough to come back. And I couldn’t force her.”
Hunter felt every word down to his bones. His mother had been so miserable being controlled that she’d walked out on a husband and three children and never looked back. Kata had been fighting him since before they said “I do.”
Dread rolled through his belly as the years peeled away. He remembered his parents’ ugly fights, the rage his mother had spewed. Her pleas for freedom. She’d finally grabbed it the only way she’d known how. Even in middle school, Hunter had become aware of the depression and anger that plagued his mother. Still, he’d been shocked when she left. He’d always assumed his father would keep the family together.
That should have been love’s role. When the Colonel had finally realized it, he’d let her go.
“I’ve known for years that you disapproved of me not fighting to keep your mother.”
His gaze snapped up, and he met his dad’s head-on. “I lost respect for you that day, sir.”
“You weren’t good at hiding it. I could hardly keep Amanda against her will. I did what I thought had the best potential for long-term success.” He shrugged as if he’d finally accepted years of pain and loneliness. “But after years of not hearing her unhappiness and not doing enough to change my ways, I was going to lose her, regardless.”
In that moment, everything crystallized inside Hunter. “You’re right. It takes a wise man to know when he can’t win. And a brave one to let his woman go.”
Hunter didn’t know if he was that brave.
The Colonel sent him a sad smile. “Apparently not too wise. Carlotta isn’t even mine, and I’m smothering her already. I know how I should behave, but I’m not good at implementing it. I suggest you learn, too.”