Ice.
Oh God. Everything they had done together last night rushed back to her in stunningly clear memories. She’d never forget looking into his eyes as he penetrated deep inside her, sending her hurtling into pleasure. The memory of the tenderness etched onto the hard lines of his face melted her. And the pleasure he had driven her to, over and over.
He’d been relentless, unyielding, demanding. Competing with a wizard who wasn’t even in the room. After last night, Ice had more than proven that whatever she’d felt for Lucan whilst she’d cared for the wizard during his mate mourning was less than a pale imitation of the vibrant, white-hot need Ice roused, the attentive way he sought to fulfill her every desire. He’d treated her like a woman, not a china doll. And she’d never experienced such ecstatic bliss.
Slowly, she opened her eyes to the harsh lines of his cheekbones, the black wings of his brows over closed eyes, his strong jaw. Her heart skipped. Actually skipped. Something had changed between them last night. She’d always been interested in Ice. Curious. This … was more. Somehow in these past few days, he’d gained a foothold in her heart.
Sex for her had always been easy, fun … and fairly meaningless. She’d rarely found more than fleeting pleasure. But she had stored energy, which was all she’d needed in the past. After Ice, Sabelle didn’t think she could ever settle for less than fierce, stunning desire again. He’d given her so much, shown her so many possibilities, looked at her with such adoration.
You could have that forever, a voice whispered to her. Speak the Binding. Become his mate.
And what would Bram say? The Council? The rest of the Privileged? Could she endure the possibility of being shunned? What about the mating of political necessity Bram needed?
She sighed. Bram had mated where he wished. But wondering where the fairness was in that did her no good. As Merlin’s granddaughter, celebrated from the time she’d entered magickind, she was heaped with expectations from the moment she’d cast her first spell. No, life wasn’t fair. It never would be, and resenting her brother for following his urges and heart only made her feel petty.
Rolling away, Sabelle sat up, glanced over her shoulder at Ice again. He occupied three quarters of the bed, and she recalled his arm twisted about her in slumber, his leg draped over her, hard breathing on her neck. She’d felt cherished. And protected.
Gathering up the courage to Renounce him today would hurt. But she had to do it. Continuing to give Ice hope when she could not be free of her station in life was nothing but unfair to him.
Tears stabbed her eyes, and she shoved the gauzy drape aside and stumbled from the bed, covering her face with her hands and holding in her sobs. She wanted Ice. Wanted him now. Again. God help her, she feared she wanted him for always and no one else would do. A reckless part of her wanted to crawl back into bed with him and Bind to him so it could never be undone.
Duty. Desire. Family. Her heart. All were important, and she didn’t know which way to turn.
Sabelle reached for her clothes and thrust them on, so utterly confused, her mind adrift . . .
Until a sudden shrill clanging in her head warned her.
She rushed to the bed to shake Ice awake, but he was already jumping up and shoving on his jeans.
“The Anarki are here,” he muttered, grim-faced.
Swallowing, she nodded. “They haven’t penetrated our magic yet.”
He paused. “Won’t be long. I sense great numbers.”
As soon as he said the words, a bombardment of mental activity penetrated her. Thoughts. Puzzlement. Anger. Triumph.
“Whoever is out there knows we’re inside and potentially cornered. We must escape now.”
Ice hesitated. “You must escape now. I’ll help you. Hide you and Bram. Take the Doomsday Diary—”
Sabelle gripped his hand. “You’re coming with me.”
He caressed her cheek. “No, princess. They believe they have someone cornered. If they break through our magic and find the premises empty, they will only know we’ve fled and continue chasing us. If they find me here, they may believe they’ve won and leave you to escape with Bram and the book.”
Horror crossed her face, blanched her veins. “Ice, no … You can’t. If they find you, they’ll torture—”
He placed a soft kiss over her mouth, ending her sentence. “We’ve no time to argue. Let me get you hidden. I know a place. I found it in the cellar. If I can, I’ll teleport away and meet you in the village in an hour.”
“Do you promise?”
Something resolute drifted across his face, and it scared her to death. “If I’m not there in an hour, take a car and go without me. No objection, princess. Magickind is counting on you.”
His assurance that he’d teleport away … a lie. He was going to let the Anarki take him to better her chances of escaping. And if they caught him . . .
A sob caught in her throat. Ice was sacrificing his life for hers.
“Please don’t do this . . .” Tears welled in her eyes. “Please.”
“Princess, we must go. If you’re to escape, we can’t waste time.” He brushed past her, and she watched his wide back retreat, then bend as he lifted Bram, still shrouded in the black cloud, over his shoulder. “Grab your pack. Let’s go.”
This couldn’t happen. She couldn’t let this deep, passionate wizard give himself over to evil and unspeakable torture to save her.
With all her strength, she latched on to his elbow and swung him around to face her. “As I become a part of you, you become a part of me. I will be honest, good, and—”
Ice covered her mouth with his hand, his body tense, his eyes rife with pain. It killed him to stop her. So why had he?
“You don’t mean that—any of it. Speaking sacred words to keep me with you … No. For me to allow that would be dishonorable. And I won’t have you suffer should something happen to me.”
How had she ever believed that he could Call to her with revenge in his heart and mind? She felt like such a fool. She could not give him up now, especially to the Anarki.
“But—”
“We did our best, princess. We tried to escape and we failed. I love you. Know that. If you wish to make my dying thoughts happy, escape for me. Be safe.”
He turned away again, let himself out of the coach house, heading through the early dawn mist toward the manor house. He loved her? Fresh tears stung her eyes as she strapped her pack on her back and hurried after him, her stomach in knots. She was numb to the danger and the fear. But doing without him? God, the thought of it even crushed her. How had he come to mean so much to her in a few short days?