Emily couldn’t believe all that had just spilled from her mouth. She turned to Toby. His mouth was a fixed, impassive line. She thought maybe that if there was a time to admit that he’d been Ali’s boyfriend, now would be it. Instead, he said quietly, “Why are you so afraid to admit that?”
“Because!” Emily laughed. Wasn’t it obvious? “Because I don’t want to be…you know. Gay.” And then, in a quieter voice: “Everyone would make fun of me.”
They rolled up to a deserted two-way stop sign. Instead of pausing and rolling through, Toby put the car into park. Emily was puzzled. “What are we doing?”
Toby took his hands off the steering wheel and stared at Emily for a long time. So long, Emily began to feel uncomfortable. He seemed upset. She touched the back of her neck, then turned away and looked out the window. The road was silent and dead and paralleled yet another cornfield, one of Rosewood’s biggest. The rain was coming down harder now, and because Toby didn’t turn on the windshield wipers, everything was blurry. She wished, suddenly, for civilization. For a car to drive by. A house to appear. A gas station. Something. Was Toby upset because he liked her, and she’d just come halfway out of the closet? Was Toby homophobic? This was what she would have to deal with, if she really thought she was gay. People would probably do this to her every day of her life.
“You’ve never been on that end of it, have you?” Toby finally asked. “You’ve never had anyone make fun of you.”
“N-No…” She searched Toby’s face, trying to understand his question. “I guess not. Well, not until Ben, anyway.” Thunder cracked overhead, and she jumped. Then she saw a zigzag of lightning, slashing across the sky a few miles ahead of them. It lit things up for a moment, and Emily could see Toby frowning, picking at a button on his jacket.
“Seeing all those people tonight just made me realize how hard it used to be, living in Rosewood,” he said. “People used to really hate me. But tonight, everyone was so nice—all these people who used to make fun of me. It was sickening. It was like it had never happened.” He wrinkled his nose. “Do they not realize what assholes they were?”
“I guess not,” Emily said, feeling uneasy.
Toby glanced at her. “I saw one of your old friends there. Spencer Hastings.” Lightning flashed again, making Emily jump. Toby smiled crookedly. “You guys were such a clique, back then. You really let people have it. Me…my sister…”
“We didn’t mean to,” Emily said, on instinct.
“Emily.” Toby shrugged. “You did. And why not? You were the most popular girls in school. You could.” His voice was sharply sarcastic.
Emily tried to smile, hoping that this was a joke. Only Toby didn’t smile back. Why were they talking about this? Weren’t they supposed to be talking about Emily being gay? “I’m sorry. We just…We were so stupid. We did what Ali wanted us to do. And I mean, I thought you were over that, since you and Ali got together that next year—”
“What?” Toby interrupted sharply.
Emily backed against the window. Her chest burned with adrenaline. “You…you weren’t fooling around with Ali in, um, seventh grade?”
Toby looked horrified. “It was hard for me even to see her,” he said quietly. “Now it’s hard for me even to hear her name.” He put his palms to his forehead and let out a huge breath. When he faced her again, his eyes were dark. “Especially after…after what she did.”
Emily stared at him. Lightning flashed again, and a stiff wind kicked up, making the cornstalks sway. They looked like hands, desperately reaching out for something.
“Wait, what?” She laughed, hoping—praying—she’d heard him wrong. Praying that she’d blink, and the night would right itself and go back to being normal.
“I think you heard me,” Toby said in a flat, emotionless tone. “I know you were friends and you loved her and whatever, but personally, I’m glad that bitch is dead.”
Emily felt like someone had sucked all the oxygen out of her body. Something’s going to happen to you tonight. Something life-changing.
You really let people have it. Me…my sister…
It’s hard for me even to hear her name. Especially after what she did…
AFTER WHAT SHE DID.
I’m glad that bitch is dead.
Toby…knew?
A crack started to form in her brain. He did know. She was sure of it, more certain than she’d ever been of anything in her life. Emily felt as if she’d always known this, that it had been right in front of her face, but she’d been trying to just ignore it. Toby knew what they’d done to Jenna, but A hadn’t told him. He’d known for a very long time. And he must have hated Ali for it. He must have hated all of them, if he knew they were all involved.
“Oh my God,” Emily whispered. She pulled at the door handle, gathering her dress in her hands as she stepped out of the car. The rain hit her immediately and felt like needles. Of course there was something suspicious about Toby being friendly to her. He wanted to ruin Emily’s life.
“Emily?” Toby unbuckled his seat belt. “Where are you—”
Then she heard the engine roar. Toby was driving down the road toward her, the passenger door wide open. She looked right and left, and then, hoping she knew where she was, she dove into the cornfield, not even caring that she was getting absolutely soaked.
“Emily!” Toby called again. But Emily kept running.
Toby killed Ali. Toby was A.
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