He spins the combination and opens his locker. “I told you it’d never work out between them.”
“Yeah, I know, but I kind of hoped it would.” I slip my arm through the strap of my backpack and shrug when he shoots me a really look. “What can I say, I’m a dreamer.” I sing the last part. “Who wants everyone to find love.”
He laughs, but his expression conveys his nerves.
“How are you doing?” I recline against the locker beside his as I wait for him to put his books away. “I mean, are you nervous?” I shake my head. “Sorry, that’s a really lame question, isn’t it? Of course you’re nervous.”
“No question you ask is lame.” He bumps the locker shut and slings his backpack over his shoulder. “I’m a little nervous, but at the same time, I’m kind of not . . . It’s strange . . . I’ve been carrying so much pain and fear around with me ever since I came out of that house, but just the idea that maybe I’ll finally put some of this behind me makes the pain and fear feel less heavy . . . If that makes any sense.”
“It makes perfect sense.” I lace our fingers as we make our way down the hallway toward the exit doors. “You’re going to let me hold your hand while you do the treatment, right?”
“If Dr. Gardingdale will let you.” He dazes off, and God knows where his thoughts are headed. Probably somewhere dark and filled with self-torture.
I need to distract him.
“My parents are going on a trip to Paris with my aunt and uncle,” I say as we step outside into the sunlight. “They’re going while I’m on tour, though, so I don’t get to go.”
“Sucks for them,” he says, looking at me. “They’re going to miss out on all the fun that would have come with bringing you.”
I press my hand to my heart, giving him my best playful grin. “Hey, that’s what I said too. But they just don’t get it.” I lower my hand to my side. “It’s good, though, that my dad’s spending time with his half-sister. And I have cousins now, so that’s cool. There was just too much pressure being the only child in the entire extended family.”
“Pressure?” he asks as we reach his car.
“Yeah, you know, to carry on the family name as awesomely as my rock star dad did. My grandma’s said it to me a couple of times.” I don’t really feel that pressured. My parents and grandparents have always been cool about not pressuring me to be anything other than myself. I’m just trying to talk about anything other than the treatment and the tour.
“I’m sure you’ll do fine.” He opens the passenger door for me. “You’re already going on a tour and you’re only eighteen. That’s a pretty amazing accomplishment.” He smiles, but it’s forced.
I know he wants to go on the tour. Wants to live a normal life. Well, as normal of a life as any other band member.
Hurts, hurts, hurts,
All the time.
Watching him silently hurt.
The pain, the despair
He carries inside
It’s got to be making him lose his mind.
Driving him to the edge
Of a place I can’t let him go.
“Yeah, I know.” My mood goes kerplunk as I climb into the car.
Only a few more hours and then it’s time. Only a few more hours and I might lose him.
Ayden suddenly freezes as he ducks to get in, and his gaze sweeps the grassy area across from the parking lot.
“Is everything okay?” I track his gaze to a woman wearing a red raincoat, standing in the midst of a sea of people dressed in summer attire. “Do you know her?”
He stares at her a beat longer, only looking away when the woman turns and gets swallowed up by the crowd. “Stay here.” He closes the door and jogs back to the cop vehicle parked a few spaces behind us.
He says something to the officer before walking back to the car and climbing in.
“What was that about?” I ask as he shuts the door.
“I’m not sure, but the woman who chased me into the woods . . . She was wearing a red raincoat.” He starts up the engine and locks the doors. “I don’t think it was her, but I still thought I’d tell the officer.”
My muscles ravel into knots as I skim the people around the quad and the parking lot. “What if it is her?”
“It’s going to be okay.” He places a shaky hand on my knee. “But we need to wait here until the officer comes back.”
I gulp. “How long do you think it’ll take him to check everything out?”