Well, when he puts it that way, it’s really not a choice. Yes, it’ll suck leaving my stuff behind, leaving without saying goodbye to Violet and Luke, but it’s what I have to do. The worst is knowing that I won’t see Emery ever again. We never really got a chance. My encounter with the beautiful girl I briefly connected to was more fleeting than a storm.
“When would I have to leave?” I ask Detective Stale. “I’m guessing soon.”
“We’d get you out of here as soon as you’re finished saying goodbye to Emery,” he says, checking the time on his phone. “Which I’m hoping you’ll make quick for her sake. A team is about to raid Ralingford, and I want her on a plane before that happens.”
I rake my hands through my hair and then sniff my shirt, which smells like barbeque chips and soda. I need a shower and to put clean clothes on, but there’s not a whole lot I can do since I have nothing else with me except another shirt that I wore the first two days in this room.
“Where is she?” I ask, slipping on my boots.
He heads for the door, signaling for me to follow him. “I can only give you about a half an hour, then we have to get you and her out of here.” He unfastens the lock, opens the door, and sticks his head out into the hallway. He glances left and right before stepping out.
I follow after him as he hurries down the hallway. We rush past door after door until finally stopping in front of the last one.
Stale slips his hand into his pocket and digs out a keycard. “Thirty minutes,” he warns as he feeds the lock the card. “Then I’m coming in.”
I can tell by the look on his face that he thinks Emery and I are going to spend our time fucking each other. While I don’t mind the idea, I doubt that’s going to happen. Things need to be said. A lot of important things, including an apology on my part for lying to her.
When Stale steps back, I push the door open and enter the room. The curtains are drawn shut and the corner lamp is on. The air smells like takeout and the bed is unmade, but Emery is nowhere to be seen.
Confused, I start across the room. As I pass by the bathroom, Emery strolls out and crashes into me.
“Oh, my God,” she squeaks, pressing her hand to her heart. “You scared the heck out of me.”
Her wet hair runs loosely down her shoulders, her skin is damp, and she smells like shampoo. She has on a pair of shorts and a faded black tank top. Not a single drop of makeup is on her face, and all I can think is absolutely perfect.
“Hey,” I sign, giving her a nervous smile. Now that she knows who I am, it feels like we’re meeting for the first time. And like the very first time we met, I feel a bit anxious.
“Hey,” she replies, biting her nails.
I can’t help smiling. She’s still the same Emery.
I remove her hand from her lips and lace our fingers together. We need to talk, I mouth.
She nods in agreement. “Yes, we do.”
Holding onto her hand, I guide her to the bed and pull her down with me as I sit down on the mattress. I stare at her for a while, wasting at least five of our thirty minutes together, memorizing her lips, her eyes, the curves of her body, the scent of her.
“I’m sorry,” I finally sign, after I finish staring at her.
Her head angles to the side. “For what?”
“For lying to you.” I tuck a strand of her wet hair behind her ear. “I should have told you who I am the moment Doc told me who you are.”
She burrows her cheek deeper into my hand. “Ryler, you don’t need to be sorry. You’re the good one here.”
“I’m anything but good. Trust me.”
“I do trust you.” She reaches for me, her fingers noticeably trembling, and sweeps her fingers through my hair. “I trust you more than anyone, which might seem crazy because we barely know each other, but I really do. I realize that now. You’re the only person in my entire life that has made me feel some sort of safety. I just wish I could have trusted you from the beginning. Things would have been so much easier.”
“You couldn’t trust me all the time because I was lying to you most of the time.”
“But you lied for a good reason.”
“I should have told you who I am sooner,” my hands move desperately between us, “instead of waiting until things got as bad as they did.”
She lowers her hand to her lap then tucks her chin in, lowering her head. “You didn’t tell me because you didn’t trust me for a good reason. Who I am—where I come from—it makes me untrustworthy.”
I dip my head and make eye contact with her, lifting my hands. “No, it doesn’t. Just because you came from that place, it doesn’t make you a monster like Elderman or your father. Trust me, if where we came from made us who we are, then I’d have no chance of starting over. I’d always be a criminal through and through, but I know I’m not. I know I want to be a good person, and one day I will be.”
“You are a good person,” she whispers softly. “You got me out of there—got me out of that life.”
“No, you got yourself out of there by telling the truth. You’re a very brave person, Emery.” I smooth my finger along her jawline and fall deeper into my feelings for her as she shivers from my touch. “And don’t ever think anything less.”
Her tongue slides out to wet her lips as she lifts her head back up. We stare at each other in silence, the clock ticking. I don’t want to move, though, because moving means moving forward. Means starting over without her.