When I finished, I slumped in my booth, absolutely exhausted. “So…there you have it.”
Andrea opened her mouth and closed it several times like a fish out of water. “Holy shit…”
I took a sip of my Coke. “Yep.”
“Whoa, okay, let me get a grip on this.” She tugged her curls off her face. “You got drunk and tried to come on to him. He turned you down, and then later said you deserved better than a one-night stand while he was feeling you up? Then you two caved to your wild monkey lust and had sex several times, doing it in a way that he claimed he’d never done it before?”
Thank God she kept her voice low on that one. “Sounds about right.”
“And you guys spent over a day in pure sexual bliss, eating crackers and being all lovey-dovey, and it wasn’t awkward or anything?”
I shook my head.
“Hmm…” She fiddled with her straw. “And he didn’t act weird, right?”
“No. The exact opposite, Andrea. He was…he was perfect. I thought that he must’ve really wanted to be with me, you know? And that morning, we even took a cold shower together. He was…he was so sweet and then…” I sighed, feeling stupid. “He did seem off that morning, but then all of this happened.”
Andrea’s lips pursed. “So he obviously went over to Sasha’s, but how do you know he did anything?”
I gave her a bland look.
“Okay.” She raised her hands. “It is Kyler, but you don’t know what he did over there. Sure, it looks suspicious, and I can see why you’d think that, but you really don’t know.”
It wasn’t like I hadn’t considered that maybe Kyler hadn’t had sex with Sasha that day. Once I’d gotten home and calmed down a little, that had crossed my mind every five seconds. I shook my head again. What if my initial suspicion had been true, but I convinced myself otherwise, and then found out I’d been right he first time? My heart would be broken all over again.
“But he lied to me, Andrea. I asked him about Sasha and he said they weren’t like that.” I picked up a piece of bread, wanting to throw it. “He’s never lied to me before.”
“There is that,” she agreed as she pulled on a coppery curl, straightening it all the way out. “And the fact that psycho redneck hurt you because of Kyler’s never-ending sexual escapades. That’s hard to get past.”
“Yeah,” I mumbled and popped the bread in my mouth, wondering where our waiter had disappeared to. Andrea had probably scared him away.
“But…” Andrea let go of the curl and it bounced back into a perfect spiral. I was jealous. “That’s really not his fault, right? I mean, yeah, he might’ve slept with a chick and pissed off a boyfriend a year ago, but do you really think that’s the first time he’s done that?”
“I hope so.” Then I rolled my eyes. “No. That’s probably not the first time.”
“And I know it bothered you before—I’m not saying that it didn’t—but you still cared deeply for him.” Her eyes met mine. “I guess what I’m getting at is that he really needs to make it up to you for putting you in that position, but I don’t see any of this as being insurmountable.”
A tiny flare of hope kindled in my stomach, and I smashed it. “Okay. Let’s say that he didn’t sleep with Sasha a couple of days ago, and I can get over the fact that he didn’t tell the truth about his past with her, and the shit with Zach, but I don’t think it meant that much to him. That’s the problem.”
“I don’t know if I agree. Look, it’s been obvious to everyone that you’ve been madly in love with him. And it’s the same for him.”
“Really,” I said dryly. “It was so obvious with the bus terminal that is his pants?”
Andrea snorted. “Guys are totally stupid when it comes to unrequited love. We females pine away and keep our thighs closed for the most part when we love someone we can’t have. Guys swing their shit around at anything that has a hole, trying to forget the one they want.”
“Wow.” I laughed. “So eloquently put.”
She flashed a quick grin. “It’s true. Sort of like the laws of physics. It’s just the way it is, which brings me to a very important question. Do you still love him?”
My heart tumbled through my chest. “I never said that I loved him.”
Her eyes rolled. “Okay. Stop the bullshit. Like I said, it’s been obvious since I’ve known you that you were in love with him. Listening to you tell me about what happened, I can hear it in your voice. Answer the question.”
I was pinned by her steady stare. Andrea really needed to look into law enforcement or something. She’d never do that with her past—I get that—but damn if she didn’t have the detective hardness in her voice. I had a choice right then. I could tell her what I wanted to say, or I could tell the truth. Sometimes lying was the easiest thing to do, especially when I was lying to myself. And saying the truth out loud meant I could never take it back.
“Okay,” I said. “I still love him.” Once those words came out, I expected balloons and glitter to fall from the ceiling or something. Of course, that didn’t happen. “I’m in love with him.”
Andrea nodded slowly. “Then what do you want, Sydney?”
I dumped the half-eaten bread on my plate. “I don’t know. Like, I guess I thought he’d try to repair the friendship or something.”
“But you don’t want just a friendship.”
“No.”
Her brow rose. “But you don’t want a relationship?”