Because I would never tell him.
Chapter 42
(Alex)
We never left the floor, not wanting to move, afraid the candle might burn out with the slightest shift of our bodies. I kissed her until her eyes shut, until she finally fell asleep in my arms, breathing softly, dreaming of dreams I hoped were good.
The song switched to Spill Canvas s
Lullaby,
as the last of the wick struggled to stay lit. I couldn t seem to take my eyes off it as it slowly lost the last of its light. How could we just die? Forget my life, it didn t matter without her beside me. How could I let her die? How could this moment be her one and only moment where she knew something was real? This wasn t how this was supposed to work out. There had to be more.
It was like an epiphany had slapped me across the head and woke me up from a trance. The answer had been staring me in the face for the last few days. My mother had said it; that everything happened for a reason.
She was right.
I slowly rolled over and stood to my feet, watching the candle die. My skin erupted with heat and I knew I had to move fast. I bent down, giving her one last kiss on the cheek and she breathed from the sparks, but didn t wake.
Ego amare,
I whispered, the realest words I d ever spoken. And then I was gone. Returning to the one place that had seemed like such a pointless journey.
Now it was more important than anything.
I need your help,
I announced to Aislin as I entered the living room.
She was lolling on the couch, her feet kicked up on Laylen s lap and she smiled teasingly.
Did you two have fun up there?
Shut up,
I said.
Could you just come with me for a minute? There s something I need to ask you.
My eyes roamed to Laylen.
Alone.
She sighed, got up from the couch, and followed me into the kitchen.
So what s up now? You need me to conjure a spell? Because I m already working on one in case you ve forgotten. A big one.
I need you to take me somewhere.
I let out a breath, preparing for her reaction.
I need you to take me to Iceland.
W-what?
she stammered.
Iceland? Why? Shouldn t we be coming up with a plan to save you two? I mean, tomorrow is the day.
I know,
I said.
And that s why.
So you know how to do it?
she asked hopeful.
How to save both of you from dying?
I took her by the shoulders, looking her directly in the eyes.
Yeah, but I don t save myself.
No.
She shook her head madly.
You can t do that Alex. Don t be stupid.
I m not being stupid,
I said.
I m doing exactly what I m supposed to.
No, you re trying to be a hero,
she snapped.
A stupid hero.
Aislin, you ll be okay. You ve got Laylen and Gemma and mom won t be gone forever.
But why does it always have to be you.
Tears were flooding her cheeks.
It s never been me, Aislin.
I let my hands fall to my side.
She s the one that spent most of her life unemotional, with a broken soul. She has no memories of her childhood, no really happy memories that don t have some kind of burden attached to them. She s been tormented by the Death Walkers. By our father. Nothing about her life is fair.
She blinked back the tears.
I know, but yours hasn t been that fair either none of our lives have been easy.
And that s why we need to stop all this,
I said.
So no one has to suffer anymore.
Are you sure there s not another way, though? Where no one has to die, except the bad guys?
I shook my head.
Mom told me that the portal s going to open up no matter what and the only way to seal it back is for the star to die is for us to die.
She gasped, clutching onto the edge of the counter.
Why didn t you say so? How can you keep things like this from me?
What would have been the point of telling you early?
I asked.
It s going to happen no matter what. But I think I know a way to save Gemma.
But why can t both of you be saved?
Because I can t be. What I m doing & one of us has to die.
Her breathing was ragged as she sucked back tears.
I ll take you, but I m not taking you to your death, am I? You re coming back right?
Yeah, I m coming back
I said.
And then tomorrow we finish this. You re going to have to get that shield spell working.
That s the problem.
She frowned, tears still dripping from her eyes.
I thought maybe when I stole the witch s power it would give me enough power to remove it. But it didn t.
I paused, contemplating.
I think I know something that might work. But I need to go to Iceland first, okay. This needs to be taken care of.
Our mom had been right when she d said it always was Gemma. Because, if I could make this work, Gemma was the one who was going to live.
***
I need you to do me favor,
I said to Laylen from the living room doorway.
He turned his head from the TV, looking at me oddly.
The last time you asked me to do you a favor, you left.
I m leaving, but I ll be back,
I said.
I need you to keep an eye on her. I need you to make a Blood Promise with me that you ll always keep an eye on her, no matter what happens.
Why?
He questioned.
Because.
I rubbed the back of my neck tensely.
It s just important, okay?
Nodding, he stood up and I switched out my knife. I sliced my palm the one without the scar of the Blood Promise. Then I tossed the knife to him and he cut his own, his lip twitching at the blood.
You okay there man?
I asked, cupping my hand.
Yeah, I m good.
He chucked the knife on the table.
So, can I just point out, that this is kind of awkward?
It always is,
I said and then we pressed our hands together and it was super awkward.
So what s the magic words this time?
he asked with a twitch in his hand.
Ego spondeo vos ut haud res quis gemma curam et custodiam eam iniuriam,
I said quietly, wishing I was on the other side of this promise.
He took a breath, suddenly understanding.
Ego spondeo vos ut haud res quis gemma curam et custodiam eam iniuriam.
We broke our hands away and I wiped mine on the side of my jeans.
Okay, we good?
We re good.