She knew she was cheating on their promise to each other to be watching him the way she was. But the pleasure she found compensated by far for any feelings of guilt.
Royce was different from when she'd first met him, she mused, extraordinarily pleased by the realization. The changes had been subtle over the weeks, but nevertheless they were there. His features remained harsh, though they relaxed more often into a smile than they used to. He would always possess the same rugged appeal, that wasn't likely to ever change. But there was now a serenity about him, she noted, that had been missing when they'd first met, a tranquillity.
Again Catherine experienced a greedy sense of pride, knowing her love was what had made the difference.
"Lieutenant Commander."
The voice behind her was friendly and familiar. "Good evening, Elaine."
Her secretary was dressed in a red velvet gown and stood next to a tall middle-aged lieutenant, who Catherine recognized immediately as Elaine's husband. "This is my husband, Ralph Perkins."
"How do you do?" Catherine said, extending a hand to the man who played such a large role in her secretary's life. "Your wife is as valuable as my right hand."
"Oh, I know," Ralph said in a smooth southern drawl that caused Catherine to think of antebellum homes with wide sweeping lawns and warm pecan pie fresh from the oven. "I couldn't get along without her, myself."
The three chatted a few minutes longer, before Elaine and her husband headed for the dance floor. For a few moments, Catherine watched them, envious of their freedom to express their love and enjoyment of each other. As she continued to hold on to her punch glass, Catherine's gaze drifted to the floor while she gathered her strength. She was going to need it if she were to make it through this night. When she felt strong enough, she looked over to where she'd last seen Royce.
He was gone. Experiencing a momentary sense of anxiety, she glanced around the room. She couldn't find him anywhere. She searched once again, scanning the crowded ballroom, her gaze moving from one area to another until she happened to catch a glimmer of dark hair and blue eyes when he swirled past her.
Royce was dancing, Catherine realized. Dancing. And it wasn't likely that it was the admiral in his arms.
Catherine had to stop and carefully analyze her feelings. Envy. She would have dearly loved to be the woman in Royce's arms. But she doubted that they would have been able to pull it off. Not tonight, not here with the admirals and captains and all the big mucky-mucks looking on. She was envious, yes, but not jealous.
Royce circled past her a second time, the music crescendoing to a loud climax. Immediately Catherine recognized the white-haired woman in his arms as Admiral Duffy's wife. She felt a little better, knowing the woman was happily married and had been for thirty years. It was little comfort, damn little, but it helped.
Her eyes were on Royce when she felt someone move next to her. "Hello, Catherine."
"Good evening, Dan," she greeted, doing her best to sound friendly. Despite the fact Dan enjoyed playing the role of devil's advocate, Catherine couldn't help liking him. He knew how she felt about Royce and was probably equally knowledgeable of Royce's feelings toward her. But the three of them chose to pretend otherwise. It was amazing when she stopped to think about it.
"Have you saved a dance for me?"
"I...I..."
"More excuses?" he asked with a knowing smile.
"If you don't mind, I'd rather sit this one out."
"My heart is mortally wounded, but I'm becoming accustomed to you knocking my ego around like a tennis ball."
Catherine grinned at the image that sprang readily to her mind. If anyone's heart had been abused, it was her own. And Royce's. Involuntarily, her gaze moved back to him. He really did look...... she looked distressed. It was ridiculous to waltz around the dance floor with the admiral's wife in his arms and calculate every step so he could watch Dan Parker make a move on Catherine. Ridiculous or not, that was exactly what Royce was doing.
At one time, he'd actually encouraged Dan to ask Catherine out. It had been a futile attempt to stop what was happening between him and Catherine. He couldn't believe he'd done anything so stupid. It wouldn't have worked. There'd never been the slightest possibility of that, but at the time he'd been desperate. He could still remember how angry Catherine had been at him, how she'd walked into his office, her eyes sparking with outrage and fury.
A good deal of water had passed under the bridge since then. The waters of discernment, the waters of perception. What he felt for Catherine was real. Strong. Heady. He hadn't meant to fall in love. He'd avoided love for years. Struggled with it, contested the fact it was possible for a man and woman to truly love each other. His first taste of it had left a bitter aftertaste, and he wasn't eager to experience it again.
"You needn't have turned Dan down, you know."
Breathless emotion clenched Catherine's heart when she realized it was Royce who was speaking to her. She whirled around to discover him standing only a few feet away.
"It wouldn't have mattered," he assured her.
Her heart beat mercilessly against her ribs. She blinked as though she wasn't sure she should trust herself not to have conjured him up. Her emotions were exhausted. Her nerves shot. This charade was killing her in inches.
"Shall we?" Royce held out his arms to her.
Catherine didn't question the right or wrong of them holding each other on the dance floor. Nor did she object when he slipped his arms around her waist. It was as though they'd been partnering each other for years. Their bodies were in perfect sync. they moved in flawless harmony, swaying naturally. rhythmically to the music.
Catherine's eyes held his, so greedy for the opportunity to study him that she didn't care what he could read in her eyes or who saw them. Nothing mattered but Royce. Her life had been a confused jumble from the time shed first met Royce Nyland. Why should anything be different now?
"Why do you have to be the most beautiful woman here tonight?" Royce whispered the question close to her ear.
"It's in the genes, what can I tell you?" Catherine teased, and was rewarded by the feel of his mouth smiling against her hair. She knew he was holding her closer than he should, but she couldn't bring herself to ease away.
"I'd give everything I possess to be able to kiss you right now."
Catherine's response was half moan, half sigh. Unfortunately, she was feeling much the same thing herself. She dared to look into his eyes and was rewarded with the promise of sensual delights. For sanity's sake she quickly looked away, but it didn't prevent a hot flush to her cheeks.