Attempting to not show Tristan kissing Sierra had rocked my world, I smiled. Or attempted to anyway. I was afraid it came across as more of a toothy grin. Stepping out of the way, Tristan and Sierra walked out of the restaurant. Looking over my shoulder I watched them as we waited to be seated. Tristan placed his hand on the side of Sierra’s face. My heart dropped at the tender notion. Leaning down, he brushed his lips against hers as he smiled. Sierra grinned back and they both went their separate ways.
“Ryn?”
Tristan and Sierra? Shaking my head, I fought to hold back my tears. I wasn’t sure if I was in shock that Tristan and Sierra knew each other, or if it was because I’d seen them kiss each other in the last five minutes.
Feeling Dodge place his hand on the small of my back, I jumped. “Ryn, baby, are you all right?”
“Yeah. Um . . . yep, I’m totally fine.” I faced Dodge and gave him a big grin. “I’m starved. I worked up a pretty big appetite between last night and this morning.”
“My girl calls and I come running, willing and eager to please her.”
My smile faded briefly. Oh God. Is that what this is? Ten months later and I’m still using Dodge to hide my feelings for Tristan. Giving a weak smile to Dodge, I followed the waitress to our table. The entire time we ate breakfast I tried to keep their kiss from replaying over in my mind. Dodge talked about going out dancing tonight. Nodding, I agreed it sounded like fun.
“Shall we go hit up some stores?”
I loved how Dodge was willing to do whatever I wanted. If I told him I wanted to go to a quilt show, he’d go, no questions asked. And he would smile and act like he was having the time of his life.
Strolling along a small street lined with mostly beach bum stores, Dodge held my hand. We walked in silence for a bit before Dodge guided us to an ice cream store. After getting one scoop of my favorite ice cream, Rocky Road, Dodge and I sat down on a bench. I ate my ice cream as I people watched.
Clearing his throat, Dodge began to talk. “Ryn, I need to ask you something.”
Turning to face him, I scrunched up my nose. “Sure! Dodge, you can ask me anything, anytime. You know that.”
Giving me a weak smile, he asked, “Where do you see our relationship going?”
Fuck. Me. That was the one thing he couldn’t ask. No. He shouldn’t ask it. We don’t have a relationship. Do we?
“Um . . . do you see this as a relationship?” I asked as I kept licking my ice cream, turning my eyes away from him.
He let out a gruff laugh. “Well, maybe. I mean it could be, if you let it, Ryn. I don’t see anyone else. You don’t see anyone else. I enjoy being with you and when I say being with you, I don’t just mean fucking you so you can attempt to push another guy from your heart.”
Snapping my head, I glared at him. “Do you think that’s what I use you for?”
Tilting his head, he looked at me like I’d just grown another head. “Seriously? You’re asking me that, Ryn? You call, I come running. You see him in Starbucks, you call me and I come fuck you. You see him at a UT football game and then call me. I spend the next twenty-four hours having sex with you until you can’t even walk. You see him at a wedding. You call and I drive six hours to be with you.”
I felt sick to my stomach. Dodge and I had a really fucked up . . . relationship.
“Have you ever called me to come to you when you haven’t seen Tristan?”
I closed my eyes and thought about it. Had I? Yes! Of course I had. I got up and walked over to a trash bin and tossed my ice cream out. I was pissed. Pissed that I had been pretending that there was nothing wrong with this arrangement I had with Dodge. Pissed that Dodge thought he saw this as a potential relationship, and pissed that I was beginning to feel like a tramp because I didn’t see this going any further than what it was. Turning, I marched back over to Dodge. “The RV show. I didn’t see Tristan. I went and all I could think about was you. I called and you showed up. If my memory serves me right, it was your idea to sneak into a RV and have sex, which by the way ranks up there with the hottest public sex yet.”
Dodge smiled.
I continued to talk as I attempted to drown out the fact that I had mostly just used Dodge for sex. Sex to forget about Tristan. Sex to just forget everything. “Then there was the home and garden show two weeks later. I called and asked if you wanted to go with me. I hadn’t seen Tristan then. Fourth of July, I invited you to my house because I wanted you there, Dodge. I wanted to be with you.”
Of course, I left out the part about Tristan and I going camping over July fourth. We did nothing but stay in the tent and make love the entire weekend. It was our first trip together.