No moon, no trees, just us. I still wanted to rip off Nic's clothes, but his throat was safe.
I'd kissed him as a test: Was the talisman making me lust after him beyond reason? Since the plastic was in the corner and not on me, I had to conclude the answer was no.
However, it was doing something funky.
"Why did you not tell me that he is the man who made you what you are?"
My tongue still inside Nic's mouth, I froze. Slowly, I took it back, lifted my head, shoved my snarled hair out of my face, and sighed. This time when I climbed off Nic's lap, he let me.
I faced Edward. Jessie and Will stood just inside the apartment doorway.
"Hell," I muttered.
Will appeared embarrassed. I know I was. Jessie seemed amused. I didn't find any of this funny.
Nic got to his feet. "What's he talking about?"
Edward lifted a slightly yellowed brow in my direction. I scowled. He'd better not tell the truth.
Since the best defense is always a good offense - I was taught that by the master in front of me - I went on the attack.
"What were you thinking to tie him up and shove him in a closet?"
Jessie's eyes widened; so did Will's.
"He annoyed me."
"Half the known world annoys you."
"Three quarters," he corrected and sniffed.
"Sir," Nic began.
I stomped on his foot. "Let me handle this."
"You were handling him," Edward accused. "What were you thinking?"
I'd been thinking I needed someone - Nic - and something - sex - but I couldn't share that with Edward.
His gaze shifted past me to Nic. "You have been recalled to Washington."
"What?"
"Your work here is done. Get out."
"Pardon me if I don't take your word for it."
Edward's eyes flashed. He threw his cell phone at Nic. I ducked before it hit me between the eyes. The contraption bounced off Nic's chest and clattered to the floor.
"Call your superior," Edward sneered. "I did."
Nic retrieved the phone and dialed, then moved to the window so he could hear. Jessie and Will came closer.
"He is the one, isn't he?" Edward demanded.
A chill wind seemed to swirl about the room. My skin, warm with arousal, went tingly with gooseflesh. I knew what he was asking; nevertheless I said, "The one?"
"I am not foolish, Elise. I ran a check on him. He graduated from Stanford - not long after you left."
"Interesting," Jessie said. "You told us you changed, but you never said what set you off." She let her gaze wander over Nic's back. "Sex just might do it."
"I never - " I ended the sentence before it left my mouth, nevertheless everyone knew what I meant.
Will coughed and stared at his feet. Jessie smirked. "Never, huh? No wonder you're so cranky."
"I am not!"
"If sex didn't change you, what did?" she asked.
"Love."
At least her smirk died. She and Will exchanged glances. The one he turned on me was full of pity. I hated that.
When a human being falls in love, variations in body chemistry aren't far behind. I believed those changes were the reason I'd transformed at twenty-two.
However, my case didn't apply to the everyday werewolf, which changed after being bitten. We weren't the same, and therefore what had happened to me hadn't been of much use in my research. All that pain for so little gain.
"Now you know," I whispered furiously, after glancing over my shoulder at Nic, who was speaking with equal fervency into the cell phone. "I fell in love, turned furry, and - "
My voice broke and I couldn't finish. Of course Edward had no such problem. "She came back to Montana where she belonged."
"You couldn't tell him - " Jessie began.
"Right. Would you want to live with a werewolf?"
Jessie's and Will's eyes met again. "Maybe."
There'd been a bit of confusion during the fiasco with the wolf god - who was human, who was not?
Jessie had, for a time, believed Will was one of them. It hadn't stopped her from sleeping with him.
Will reached out and touched her cheek.
"Spare us," Edward muttered.
Jessie shot him a glare. "Leigh and Damien are fine."
"If you say so."
I had to agree with Edward. Leigh and Damien were in love, but they were far from fine. Damien lived every day, every night, with the memory of all he had done. Leigh ached for children, and she wouldn't get them from him.
"I left Nic," I continued, "and he never knew why. He hates me."
"Yeah, looked that way from where I was standing," Jessie muttered.
I narrowed my eyes, but she just laughed.
"Elise." Edward beckoned with one long, bony index finger. I joined him near the kitchen table. "Do you know why he is here?"
"Missing persons." I shrugged. "Anonymous tip. Someone's trying to cause trouble, and we know who that someone is."
"This is a little more serious than that. You didn't recognize the names?"
"I didn't get a chance to read them before I lost the list."
Edward's sigh was filled with both disgust and impatience.
"Compound exploding, Billy attacking - I was a little busy."
"You should have killed him while you had the chance. Must I do everything myself?"
"I'm not going to let you hurt him."
The two of us stared into each other's eyes until Nic stalked across the room and tossed the cell phone at Edward with more force than necessary.
"Whatever you said, whoever you know, you've got them scared. I've been ordered back to D.C."
"Good-bye," Edward replied.
"But you don't scare me. I'm not leaving."
For the first time I could remember, Edward was surprised into silence.
"I have vacation time. I'm taking it. This town appears... relaxing."
"Jessie," Edward snapped. "Get rid of him."
"No!" I shouted, and everyone jumped.
Edward shot a glare in my direction before returning his attention to Jessie. "Make sure he leaves town.
Put him on a plane yourself, if you must."
"She can't force me to go," Nic said.
Jessie drew her gun and pointed it at his crotch.
"Okay. She can."
Nic's gaze met mine, and the years fell away. I had n a future, with him. There weren't any monsters.
Death didn't wait around every corner.
Then he spoke and the fantasy disappeared. "Come with me. You don't need him."
Except I did. Edward would make certain I got a job nowhere. Without the serum, I'd be eating the populace within a week.
Since my secret no longer appeared safe - Lord knows who or what was hunting me already - alone, out in the world, I'd die, and so would anyone who got too close. Failing that, I'd kill and then I'd be killed. My choices were mighty slim.
I couldn't bring all that down on Nic. He had no idea what was out there - hell, he had no idea what was in here - and I had to keep it that way.
Edward leaned over, whispering so that only I could hear, "He knows the names of the people you've killed, Elise."
My heart seemed to stop. Time slowed. The whole world faded until it was only me and Nic and the elephant in the room.
There was more about me to keep secret than my tendency to howl at the moon. Edward, being Edward, was not a wasteful man. I was the perfect werewolf, danger without the demon. I was useful for a lot more than research. There were monsters out there that even Edward couldn't kill. But I could, and I had.
So why was I hesitating? Did I want Nic to discover that the murderer he was searching for was me? I'd rather be dead.
Still, despite the dangers, the problems, the reality of my life, I wanted to go with Nic more than I'd wanted anything for a long, long time.
I've heard that first love is imprinted on our hearts. Even if we move on to love others, have children with them, live our lives, our first love is always there. We never forget.
What's felt then, with that one person, carries a gilded sheen - both the best and the worst of times - often never to be repeated with such intensity again. For me this was even more true, because there'd never been anyone else.
But what did Nic feel? He wanted me, certainly. However, he hadn't mentioned love. Even if he did care, could his love survive both my curse and my crimes? I doubted it.
Once we'd whispered of a life together: marriage, careers, children. That dream was as impossible now as it had been then. Even if I found a cure, did I dare bring a child into this world knowing what I did about it? The end of the werewolves wouldn't mean the end of evil. Evil lived everywhere, for always.
A child would be helpless, innocent. What if he or she had to pay for the sins I'd committed? Barring that, what if someday, someone told him or her all about me?
I forced myself to speak past the longing, through the fear. "I can't."
"You heard her, G-man." Jessie motioned toward the door with her gun. "Let's go."
With a sound of disgust that dug into my heart, Nic preceded Jessie out of the apartment.
Nic never looked back.