Seth wasn't at the bookstore the next day, which I took as a bad sign. It was usually his passive-aggressive reaction to whenever we had a fight.
I thought about him a lot while I worked, thinking of that awful blowout. We'd had a lot of uncomfortable talks in our time together, but we'd never had anything like that. I couldn't put my finger on exactly what about it bothered me - aside from the obvious - but I kept feeling like it was a pivotal moment, something that was going to have long-reaching effects. It scared me, and I wanted to fix things.
And, of course, there was Nyx to worry about. I was going to find a victim after work, and then Vincent said the angels would come while I was asleep - when Nyx made her move.
"You okay?"
I looked up from the stack of checks I was signing in my office. Maddie stood there in a black pencil skirt and fitted white blouse that made her look super amazing. She'd worn her hair down too.
"Wow," I said. "What's the occasion?"
"Nothing," she said, with a shrug. "Wardrobe overhaul." She lifted one foot, revealing three-inch black heels.
"Holy shit," I said. "You don't do anything in halves."
She beamed, and I noticed something about her that had nothing to do with the new clothes. There was joy in her eyes - a happiness that made her confident and even more radiant. She was a far cry from the bitter woman who'd shown up at the auction.
"What's going on?" I asked, not fixating on myself for the first time today.
Her grin widened, revealing her phantom dimple. A moment later, she turned more serious. "I'll tell you later. My news is good. But you...what's the matter? You look awful."
Yasmine had said the same thing last night. It really was a sad day when a succubus couldn't stay on top of her game. I shook my head.
"It's...complicated." I offered a weak smile. "I'll deal with it, don't worry. Now, come on. I'd rather hear something cheerful. Tell me what's going on."
"Can't. They need me out there. I just came to drop these off." She set a stack of papers on my desk. They practically melted into the other stacks I already had. My office was so chaotic, it could have been a lair for Nyx in and of itself.
"Come on, the suspense is going to drive me crazy," I teased.
"Well...you think you can give me a lift to the airport tomorrow? I'm going home for Christmas."
"You taking Doug with you?"
"Nope. He's your holiday gift. But I'll give you the scoop then if you can give me a ride. I'd probably need to leave around five."
"Five o'clock traffic on the Friday before Christmas. We're going to have a lot of time to talk."
A bit of her normal nervousness reappeared. "If it's a problem..."
"Nope. We're closing early anyway. We'll go then."
Maddie left, and I found myself momentarily distracted by whatever her news could be. Whatever it was, it was a good thing. I liked the change it had brought about. That sort of happiness and confidence suited her.
My thoughts were interrupted by the phone ringing. I answered and found Seth on the other end.
"Hey," I said, hoping I sounded cool and confident and not desperate and relieved.
"Hey." A long pause followed. "I...just...wanted to make sure we were on for Christmas."
My heart sank. No: "I've missed you." No: "I'm sorry."
"Sure. Wouldn't miss it."
Thinking about Christmas. I experienced a weird sense of d¨¦j¨¤ vu. We'd also been with his brother on Thanksgiving. And like now, we'd also been fighting. There it was again: my life, the endless loop. You aren't learning. You aren't changing.
Of course, Seth and I had patched up the other fight. Maybe that kind of resolution would repeat itself too. After all, holidays were supposed to be magic, right?
"Okay," he told me. "I'll pick you up."
"Okay."
Another long pause. "I'd come by today, but...well. The book..."
The book. Always the book. Then again, I was busy with chaos deities today. "Yeah, I know. It's fine."
"We'll talk on Christmas."
"Okay."
We hung up. A chill ran through me. There it was again. I had no gift for premonition, but an inner instinct - one that had nothing to do with Nyx's visions of the future - told me there was something big coming.
After work, I drove over to Bellevue, Seattle's richest and most pretentious suburb. A city in its own right, Bellevue was pretty much the polar opposite of SeaTac. Hotels, restaurants, and shopping were continually being added to its downtown strip, and the influx of money from Boeing and Microsoft was steadily replacing older, plain buildings with sleeker and more stylish architecture.
Bellevue was also home to a guy I knew named Kevin. I'd met him years ago in a bar. There was nothing overly extraordinary about Kevin. He was neither a sinner nor a saint, instead occupying some happy ground in the middle that yielded a decent amount of energy whenever I slept with him. His most notable trait was that he was perpetually available. He worked at home - some Web business, I believed - and never seemed to go out, despite being good-looking and sociable. I didn't question that too much, though, because it suited my purposes whenever I needed quick and easy sex with someone I didn't completely loathe.
"Sandra," he said happily, opening the door of his condo for me. He had dark brown hair and a closely trimmed, very new beard that I approved of. Dark brown eyes regarded me with amusement. "Been a while."
My "Sandra" form had a petite build similar to the one I usually wore. After that, the resemblance ended. My hair was now curly and black, my eyes a blue that looked violet sometimes. Underneath my long black coat, I wore a sleeveless navy blue dress that fit snugly and was far too skimpy for this kind of weather.
"It has been," I agreed. "Does that mean you aren't going to let me in?"
He smiled and stepped back, grandly waving me inside. "What, do you think I'm crazy or something? Only an idiot would turn you away."
I followed Kevin down the hall and into his living room. He'd redecorated since the last time I was here, and the change was nice. The furniture and d¨¦cor were now all done in shades of a grayish blue that reminded me of winter twilights. A fireplace crackled on one side of the room, and a large bay window looked out to another set of condos. I draped my coat over a chair and smoothed miniscule wrinkles out of the dress.
"You want something to drink?" he asked, hands in his pockets.
I shook my head. "I don't have much time."
He gave me a rueful smile. "You never do. You know, sometimes I feel used."
"Is that a problem?"
"Problem?" he asked with a snort. "A beautiful woman who wants to have sex with me and no commitments? Hardly a problem." He took a few steps toward me. "Use me all you want."
He came closer still, and we met in a kiss. No delay, no preamble. I wrapped my arms around his neck and parted my lips, eager to feel him and taste him. His hands rested on my hips for a moment, then slid upward. He caught my dress's straps and pulled them down, baring my breasts and still kissing me the whole time. Pushing forward, he pressed me against the wall, near the fireplace. I felt its heat against the bare skin of my legs. His hands cupped my breasts, thumbs sliding to my nipples and squeezing them. He varied the intensity, sometimes hard and sometimes gentle.
I broke the kiss long enough to incline my head toward the uncovered window behind him. "The window - "
He crushed his mouth back against mine. Our tongues danced together briefly, and then he pulled back just long enough to say, "I know." The tone of his voice told me that he not only knew - he also wanted it that way. I didn't question it. This apparently was the season for exhibitionism.
Eventually, he moved his mouth away from mine and trailed kisses down my neck. I tilted my head back and arched the rest of my body toward his. One of his hands continued cupping a breast as he nibbled on its nipple, teeth and tongue stirring it to arousal. His other hand pushed up my skirt, eagerly seeking my panties and what lay within.
The ache for his energy and his touch coursed through me. I moaned softly as he moved his lips down my body. Shifting to the floor, he settled on his knees while still keeping me standing against the wall. He pulled the panties down all the way, so they hung around my ankles. Sliding his hands between my thighs, he pulled them apart slightly and then buried his face between them, his stubble tickling me. I was burning and wet, more so than I'd realized, and when his tongue touched my aching clit, I moaned more loudly and felt my knees tremble slightly.
I started to tell him that he didn't need to do this, that it was okay if he just wanted to get straight to the main event. But as his tongue gently moved back and forth, building the heat and ecstasy within me, I swallowed my words. The last three guys I'd slept with hadn't made me come, and although this visit was strictly utilitarian and part of the Nyx plan, I suddenly and selfishly wanted to get more than his life energy out of it.
Back and forth his tongue moved, speed and intensity continually shifting. As his thoughts began to trickle into me, I could tell that he liked doing that not simply for the sake of novelty, but also because he liked seeing the way I reacted to each slight change. He was one of those men who truly enjoyed making a woman happy. The burning spot he'd brought to life between my legs grew and grew, expanding beyond where his tongue touched, beyond my thighs. Steadily, it spread into my whole body, all the way to my fingertips. I felt like fire in human - or rather, succubus - form and writhed against the wall, against him. My knees buckled as the searing pleasure reached a critical point inside me, and his hands moved down to steady my legs and keep me upright.
At last the core within me exploded, the fire turning to pure light, pure bliss. I cried out at the way the orgasm consumed me, at the way his tongue still kept teasing me even in the throes of my climax. Finally, even he couldn't keep me upright. My legs had turned to jelly, and I sank to the floor in front of him. He smiled, genuinely pleased, and leaned forward to kiss me. I could taste me on his lips.
"Come on," he said, taking my hands and helping me up. He led me over to the window and peeled off the rest of my dress. He eased me onto a high window seat. Removing his own clothes, he murmured, "I should go find a condom."
My breathing was rapid, my heart pounding away. "No, I want to feel you - just you." I took his hand and brought it between my legs, guiding his fingers into me. "I want you to feel me."
I'd been wet before starting all this and was now doubly so after what he'd just done. His fingers glided easily inside of me, and his eyes widened at what he felt. Indecision played on his face, and then he nodded. If counseling any of my human friends, I would certainly advocate safe sex. It didn't matter for me personally, however, since I couldn't catch anything or get pregnant. Often with victims, I'd talk them out of any sort of protection in order to increase their guilt. With Kevin tonight, I didn't want to bother with condoms simply because I didn't want to waste the time. My urgency and desire were too strong. I wanted him now.
I slid my hands down his stomach and felt how hard he was. He wanted me too. I wrapped my fingers around him, stroking and massaging and loving the way he swelled within my hand. Pressing my back against the cold glass, I drew my knees up to me and then spread them wide, feeling rather like a butterfly. The window seat was exactly the perfect height, putting us hip to hip as I led him inside of me.
We both gasped at the contact. He pushed in as far as possible, our hips pressed skin to skin. The way he filled me up was exquisite. Shape-shifting meant I could make myself as tight as possible, and I loved how he tested the limits of it. He paused a moment, simply savoring the way our bodies felt together, and then slowly began moving in and out of me, rocking me against the window with each thrust.
And with that, his life began pouring into me in earnest. I nearly exhaled with relief. The sensation of that energy filling me up rivaled the feel of his body inside me. I had missed it so much, missed the wonder and joy of that pure, indescribable energy generated by the human soul. Nyx had been stealing a part of me, and I was glad to have it back, if only for this moment. The thoughts coming through with his energy were happy and content ones as he reveled in the pleasure of being with me. A secret, kinky part of him was turned on by hoping that his neighbors across the way might be watching. He hoped they were. He hoped they were jealous.
His thrusts grew harder and harder, and he murmured over and over how wonderful I was, how beautiful. Still sensitive from him going down on me, I came twice more, my body melting as the orgasms' spasms shook me. At last, I felt his body tense and saw his expression signal he was about to lose control. I dug my nails into his arms and begged him to come in me. He did, shoving me so hard against the window that I hoped the glass would hold. The peak of his energy hit me with his climax, and as it faded, we both sighed happily.
I didn't abandon him quite as quickly as I had Bryce, but I didn't spend time lounging in the afterglow either. I helped him get dressed and made sure he was situated comfortably on the couch before I left. I liked him, after all, and hoped I'd see him again in some other casual situation. His face was languid and content as we made our good-byes.
"You are the most exhausting woman I've ever been with," he told me, eyelids flickering with fatigue.
I couldn't help a smile. Of course I was. Other lovers didn't steal his soul - at least not literally.
"Does that mean you want me to stay away longer next time?"
He smiled and yawned. "No. Absolutely not."
Still smiling, I left and headed back to the city. But as I drove closer to downtown, brimming with energy, my happy feelings faded. I remembered why I'd had to go see him in the first place and what would happen tonight. My body, so achingly hot an hour ago, grew cold.
When I arrived back at my apartment, Vincent, Carter, and Yasmine were already waiting for me. None of them commented on my glow. Instead, they launched right into the plan.
"Nyx will probably come trolling around tonight," Carter explained. "And when she sees you've got energy again, she'll do her thing."
Yasmine nodded along. "We can't be here when it happens. Vincent will be around, out in the living room. She won't suspect him of anything; she'll figure he's an ordinary human. But when he senses her feeding off of you, he'll let us know. Then, we'll show up and bind her."
I didn't like the sound of any of that - neither the feeding nor the binding. "What's that mean?"
"We'll pull her out and trap her," said Carter. Presumably "out" meant out of me. Yikes.
"Then we'll take her away, back to her prison," added Yasmine.
Their confidence inspired confidence in me, and I suspected I was being influenced by angelic charisma. But there was no way out of this, not if I wanted to shake my nighttime visitor.