The fact that it pained me at all to see her with someone else irritated me to no end as I went over everything a dozen times yesterday. But as the day wore on, I realized that what I felt for KC, as strange as it might be, was something I’d never known and something I knew I’d never experience again.
I was prepared to live with that knowledge and never act on it. I don’t know if it was the fact that Tate would have been five last week, or that Olivia came home trashed from her parents’ last night telling me that because I only make fifty thousand a year I’m a worthless piece of shit she keeps around for laughs, but I decided then that I couldn’t keep living my miserable life when there was a woman who made me feel more alive than I had in the last five years with just one look. And before I knew what I was doing, I found myself in front of her store this morning.
I shifted down in my seat as my sister-in-law came bouncing out of the bakery and over to the shop she owned with her mom, unlocked the door, and went inside. My eyes shot back over to the bakery, and even though I knew I shouldn’t, there was no talking myself out of what I was about to do.
A little bell chimed overhead when the door to the bakery opened and shut, and I heard her voice from the back of the shop. Her accent wasn’t as heavy as I remembered it, but God the sound still pinned me to the floor. “What’d you forget, Lee?”
“Uh . . . not Kinlee,” a thin guy standing behind the pastry case called out before eyeing me curiously.
KC came through a swinging door with a black apron on, covered with smudges of what I assumed was flour and cake batter. Her dark hair was pulled back, and a few loose strands had fallen in her face. She looked more incredible every time I saw her.
“Brody,” she whispered and set down a tray of cookies and puffs.
That was the first time I’d heard her say my name, and a million different things flashed through my mind. I wanted her to say it again, I wanted to hear her moan it as I had her body underneath mine, and I wanted to have her whisper it in the dark as we got to know each other on every other level, not just the intimate one.
“Well, hello, Brody,” the guy said, and KC made a face before waving him toward the door she’d just come through.
“I have this, Andy.”
Andy and KC seemed to have a short, silent conversation before Andy rolled his eyes and walked to the back. KC stared at the swinging door for a second before turning around. Her body was facing me, but her eyes darted around the bakery—looking anywhere but at me.
I didn’t know how to start this conversation. I hadn’t planned this out. I’d just known I needed to talk to her about what was happening between us. I needed confirmation that I wasn’t the only one who was slowly going insane over this—this—whatever this was. “I need to know what this is,” I finally blurted out.
No “Hi,” no “How are you.” I just went past all the small talk . . . went past everything a normal man and woman would talk about . . . and threw out the issue I’d probably been deluding myself into thinking both of us had been plagued by the past week.
Her eyes widened and met mine momentarily before touching everything else in the bakery again. She cleared her throat twice before stuttering, “What—what what is?”
I managed to close as much of the distance between us as the counter would allow and waited until she finally glanced at me again. “This.” I used my index finger to indicate the two of us. “You have to know what I’m talking about.” God, please know what I’m talking about.
She exhaled deeply and shook her head. Her eyes flickered to the front door, and then to the tray of cookies she’d just brought out, where they stayed. “Brody, you’re married,” she said softly, and the statement sounded so pained I had to grip the countertop when my hand began reaching out toward her. “I can’t—I don’t—you’re married.” Her blue eyes finally met and held mine, and I knew then that this had been tormenting her as much as it had me.
“I know. But I’ve been going out of my mind since I first saw you last Sunday, and I—I don’t know, I know this is insane, KC.” Looking to each side of the counter, I found the space to get behind it and walked over to her as I said, “One thing I’ve learned in my life and my line of work is that life is short, and I know that I don’t know you yet . . . but I know I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I walked away from the only person who’s made me feel alive in years, the only person who’s made me feel—whatever the hell this is—ever. Tell me I’m not alone in this,” I pleaded.
She looked around the store and shut her eyes tightly as she shook her head. I wanted to beg her to open them again, but words left me when she spoke. “You’re not. Brody, I swear the world stops when I look at you.”
My entire body relaxed, and my already quick heartbeat took off.
“But that doesn’t change the fact that you have a wife. So what’s all this for, Brody?” she asked, her pained voice now laced with venom, and the relief I’d felt disappeared. “Just to make yourself feel better knowing that someone else wants you? Or are you just wanting an affair because you’re tired of your spouse? Because if that’s what you want, I suggest you go find someone else who’s looking for the same.” Her blue eyes narrowed and she spoke through gritted teeth. “Do you know that for the last eight days all I could think about was a married man who stirred up emotions in me I didn’t even know I could possess? And it’s been killing me, Brody!”