'It can't be as bad as that,' Felisin insisted.
'Nothing can be done,' Heboric said. 'We each fall into our lives and that's that. Some choices we make, but most are made for us.'
'Well,' Scillara retorted, 'you would think that, wouldn't you? But look at this stupid journey here, Heboric. True, at first we were just fleeing Raraku, that damned sea rising up out of the sands. Then it was that idiot priest of Shadow, and Cutter there, and suddenly we were following you – where? The island of Otataral. Why? Who knows, but it has something to do with those ghost hands of yours, something to do with you righting a wrong. And now I'm pregnant.'
'How does that last detail fit?' Felisin demanded, clearly exasperated.
'It just does, and no, I'm not interested in explaining. Gods below, I'm choking on these damned bugs! Cutter! Get back here, you brainless oaf!'
Heboric was amused by the stunned surprise in the young man's face as he turned round at the shout.
The Daru reined in and waited.
By the time the others arrived, he was cursing and slapping at insects.
'Now you know how we feel,' Scillara snapped.
'Then we should pick up our pace,' Cutter said. 'Is everyone all right with that? It'd be good for the horses, besides. They need some stretching out.'
I think we all need that. 'Set the pace, Cutter. I'm sure Greyfrog can keep up.'
'He jumps with his mouth open,' Scillara said.
'Maybe we should all try that,' Felisin suggested.
'Hah! I'm full up enough as it is!'
No god truly deserved its acolytes. It was an unequal relationship in every sense, Heboric told himself. Mortals could sacrifice their entire adult life in the pursuit of communion with their chosen god, and what was paid in return for such devotion? Not much at best; often, nothing at all. Was the faint touch from something, someone, far greater in power – was that enough?
When I touched Fener…
The Boar God would have been better served, he realized, with Heboric' s indifference. The thought cut into him like a saw-bladed, blunt knife – nothing smooth, nothing precise – and, as Cutter led them into a canter down the track, Heboric could only bare his teeth in a hard grimace against the spiritual pain.
From which rose a susurration of voices, all begging him, pleading with him. For what he could not give. Was this how gods felt?
Inundated with countless prayers, the seeking of blessing, the gift of redemption sought by myriad lost souls. So many that the god could only reel back, pummelled and stunned, and so answer every beseeching voice with nothing but silence.
But redemption was not a gift. Redemption had to be earned.
And so on we ride…
Scillara drew up alongside Cutter. She studied him until he became aware of the attention and swung his head round.
'What is it? What's wrong?'
'Who said anything was wrong?'
'Well, it's been a rather long list of complaints from you of late, Scillara.'
'No, it's been a short list. I just like repeating myself.'
She watched him sigh, then he shrugged and said, 'We're maybe a week from the coast. I'm beginning to wonder if it was a good thing to take this overland route… through completely unpopulated areas. We're always rationing our food and we're all suffering from that, excepting maybe you and Greyfrog. And we're growing increasingly paranoid, fleeing from every dust-trail and journey-house.' He shook his head. '
Nothing's after us. We're not being hunted. Nobody gives a damn what we're up to or where we're going.'
'What if you're wrong?' Scillara asked. She looped the reins over the saddle horn and began repacking her pipe. His horse misstepped, momentarily jolting her. She winced. 'Some advice for you, Cutter. If you ever get pregnant, don't ride a horse.'
'I'll try to remember that,' he said. 'Anyway, you're right. I might be wrong. But I don't think I am. It's not like we've set a torrid pace, so if hunters were after us, they'd have caught up long ago.'
She had an obvious reply to that, but let it go. 'Have you been looking around, Cutter? As we've travelled? All these weeks in this seeming wasteland?'
'Only as much as I need to, why?'
'Heboric's chosen this path, but it's not by accident. Sure, it's a wasteland now, but it wasn't always one. I've started noticing things, and not just the obvious ones like that ruined city we passed near.
We've been on old roads – loads that were once bigger, level, often raised. Roads from a civilization that's all gone now. And look at that stretch of ground over there,' she pointed southward. 'See the ripples? That's furrowing, old, almost worn away, but when the light lengthens you can start to make it out. It was all once tilled.