“What are we doing here?” he questioned, his voice like a caress in itself.
I leaned forward, my gaze lingering on his lips. “I didn’t really think it through.”
“And now?”
“Still not thinking it through.”
“You’re okay with that?”
In that moment, the truth exploded in me. I wanted him. I wanted this—but it was more. I needed this.
I didn’t answer.
I closed the distance between us.
My lips found Caden’s, and they were everything.
I melted into him, my hands moving over his chest and arms. I felt like I was drowning as we kissed. He answered. His mouth opened under mine, taking over, and a tremor went through me. I sank further down on him, almost grinding, and he pulled me more tightly against him, tighter than I could’ve gotten us. Then before I knew what was happening, he stood.
I gasped, wrapping my arms around his neck. I started to pull away, but he murmured, “No,” and kept on kissing me. It was dizzying. My body was burning up, my need for him building.
By the time he dropped me onto his bed, I could do nothing but clasp his shoulders. I dragged him down with me. I couldn’t get enough of him. I couldn’t get enough of this.
“Summer.”
His hand came to my arm, and I paused, my mouth still on his. He pulled his head back to look at me. His eyes darkened again, and I saw the primal lust on his face. I felt it in me. It spread all over, like a drug. I was intoxicated, and adrenaline pumped through me, making me need more and more.
I slid a hand up under his shirt, savoring the feel of him. His muscles rolled and shifted under my touch, and I dipped down, lingering at his jeans. My thumb rested over the button. If I flicked that open, this was going to go farther than I’d anticipated.
I pulled away and looked up, holding his gaze.
We were both breathing heavy.
He waited, letting me make the decision.
I wanted to. My legs wound more tightly around his back, and I shifted against him. He closed his eyes at the contact. When they reopened they were dilated, like he was drugged right along with me.
My heart pounded in my chest. The ache was almost combustible. I’d never felt this before. I’d lost my virginity to the 4-H guy, but that’d been painful and awkward. I hadn’t enjoyed sex with him, and then the only other time had been with Kevin. That’d been a little more pleasurable, but it was nothing compared to this. Just the kissing with Caden was already more than what I’d felt having sex before.
My hands let go of his jeans, and fear slammed into me.
I wasn’t ready for this.
This could break me. I didn’t know if I could come back.
Caden responded to me immediately. The only thing I’d done was move my hand away, but his touch changed. It had been demanding and hot before, but he switched it to soft and comforting.
Shifting to lie beside me, he rested his forehead to my shoulder and let go of a deep breath. “Holy shit, woman.”
I let out an awkward and relieved laugh, hitching up on the last note. “You said it.”
His hand smoothed over my stomach, and he slipped it under my shirt, rubbing in comforting circles there.
I closed my eyes, letting out a silent sigh. My entire body was relaxing, feeling exhausted like it had run a marathon just now.
“You okay?”
I opened my eyes to find him watching me. I nodded. “I’m okay.”
Then the side of his mouth lifted. “Good, and just so you know, any time you want to do that again, I’m down.”
I felt the corner of my mouth twitching, mirroring his. “Down?”
A stark promise suddenly appeared in his eyes, and his hand dipped low, pausing just beneath my jeans. “You know what I mean. I’ll be hard and ready to go in all the right spots.”
Oh hell. I needed to breathe. The room got a whole lot hotter, and I sat up, actually fanning myself. “Stop talking. You’re making me come just listening to you.”
He bent down, kissing my shoulder before sitting up with me.
I closed my eyes. The quick peck of his lips on my skin sent a thrill through me, reenergizing my already boiling blood. He shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, bending forward so his elbows rested on his knees, his back to me. I looked at him and knew my emotions were shining through. If he’d glanced back at me, he would’ve seen everything I felt.
We could get physical. We already had with cuddling and holding hands. As long as I was okay with it, Caden would be too. But if he saw my feelings, I could lose him then. I was sure of it. He dated girls who you were more than me. Who was I to compete against them?
“You okay?” he asked.
I couldn’t lose him.
He looked back, and I slammed my eyes shut. When I opened them again, everything was gone. I’d tucked it all away, and I smirked back at him. “Other than wondering what the female term for a quick tug is, I’m golden.”
Lust moved back into his eyes, and he glanced down at my jeans. “I could help take care of that.”
I shifted on the bed. “You’re the reason it’s there.” Alarms were going off. This was the entire reason I’d pulled away. Caden was okay with it. I wasn’t.
I coughed, clearing my throat, and scooted to sit next to him. The side of my leg pressed into his, and I felt him watching me. I patted his hand. “I’m good. Really.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He opened his hand underneath mine. “We’re still friends?”