Shocked, I murmured, “You said he was drinking buddies with your dad?”
Carter’s smile thinned. “He never approved of what my dad did. I think he took me in to make up for not stopping my old man.”
I shivered as I remembered some of the worst times Carter came over for our couch. “He could’ve protected you from him.”
His eyes shot to mine. “You protected me from him.”
I held my breath, captivated by him.
“So did AJ. You gave me a home when I needed one.”
“You kept going back.” The bitterness was still with me.
“Because I loved my father.” Darkness flickered in his depths. “I was a fool, but because of him, Farve saved my life. He gave me a third home after I lost you and AJ.”
“You never lost me.”
His eyes held mine steadily. He said, softly, “I did. I let you go so you could be normal. I never wanted this life for you.”
“This life?” I gestured around the restaurant, teasing.
“The life you would’ve had then, if I had brought you with me. For awhile there, it was hard. They had me do horrible things, Emma.”
I knew what he was doing and I didn’t care. I never flinched. I never looked away. Instead, I picked up my wine and sipped it before I replied, “I wouldn’t have cared. I don’t care now.” He was warning me away, testing to see if I was scared. “I know who you are, Carter. I’m the only one who knows you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
I told him about Amanda that night in bed. He nodded, replying, “That’s good. You met her in college?”
I shifted down in bed, surprised that he knew that, but knowing that I shouldn’t have been. He had men watching me all my life. He probably knew more about me than I knew myself. “No, not really. I didn’t have a lot of good friends in college, none that stuck. I knew Amanda from freshman year. We were in this social club they did. They grouped a bunch of freshman together. I think it was to help jumpstart a social life. I stopped going to the club outings after the first night when I realized we didn’t actually have to be there.”
He trailed a hand up my arm, sending tingly sensations in its wake. “You didn’t become good friends with her then?”
“No, it wasn’t until I was hired at The Richmond. She teaches, but works at the café next to it during summers. We reconnected. I met Mallory before that. She was my only friend since college.” I sighed, feeling some of the emptiness from those years again. “It took me awhile to learn what good friends were like. I never pledged to a sorority but I was friends with a bunch of them during college. We went to fraternity parties, and those were the worst. To be fair, I think it was just the girls I had become friends with. They were the stereotypical stuck-up girls. I don’t even know why they were friendly with me.”
His hand moved to my hair. He started brushing it back from my face. The light touches were comforting and the old emptiness started to ease away. He murmured, “Do you not know how beautiful you are, Emma?”
Jolted, I looked up and saw the somber expression on him. My chest rose, full of warmth again, and I couldn’t speak for a moment. I saw the love from him and it took my breath away.
His thumb rubbed across my forehead and down my cheek. He cupped my chin and smiled down at me. “You have always been beautiful, Emma. I worried about you when you were in those foster homes. I was glad when they placed you with that last couple. The Jones were nice to you.” When he saw my surprise, his smile widened. “Yes, even then I was watching and trying to help you. I asked the judge to move you to their home. He agreed that it would be beneficial for you. That was the only reason he approved the transfer.”
I let out a shuddering breath. Nothing should’ve surprised me anymore, nothing when it came to him. Then I murmured, my voice hoarse, “You thought I was beautiful?”
He flashed me a grin. “If AJ wouldn’t have killed me, I would’ve kissed you a long time ago.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Then he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.
The hunger started in me and I opened for him. It wasn’t long until kissing wasn’t enough and he was shifting to lie on top of me. It was later, much later, that he asked about my friends in college. I curled against his chest and pulled the sheet to cover me. His hand caressed my stomach, running in small circles.
Feeling content, I murmured against his skin, “I don’t even talk to anyone I knew from college.”
He pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “You became friends with Mallory after you graduated?”
I rolled over and looked up at him. “What are you doing?”
He laughed. His hand traced down the side of my face and his thumb rested on my bottom lip. “I’m trying to understand your life, Emma. I was given reports, but that didn’t tell me what you were feeling or what you were thinking.”
“I think you have the more interesting life.”
His eyes fell flat. “No, no I don’t. I took a lot of beatings from my old man, but I never left. I didn’t want to leave my best friend and his little sister. They were my family. When someone took that away, I did what I knew how to do. I beat them up. When that didn’t make it feel better, I killed them and you know the rest. My life’s not interesting at all.”
“I think you’re underestimating yourself.”
His thumb rubbed back and forth over my lips. He murmured, “I’d rather hear about you.”