I am a crack whore.
I am my mother.
In that instant I see her. The same eyes, the same raven-black hair, the same look of impending death.
I look over at Elise, who is impatient to get me in the dressing room, and shake my head.
"Yes, we need this shoot and we need to get it done quick."
"Why? Why is it such a rush?"
She ignores me as we walk quickly into the dressing room. Everything about this day is wrong.
My clothes aren't in a bag, they are splayed out on one of the benches in the middle of the dressing room. It's only then that I realize there are no other girls around. "Elise, what's going on? Where is everyone?"
"We have meetings with the STURGIS people, the suits are here again, they're nailing down the specifics of the contract and Antoine is not happy, so please, just do what you're told and you'll be done fast and you can have the rest of the day off. Now put those clothes on and meet us down on the third floor."
Again, she walks out.
I look over the clothes and almost laugh. The shirt is dirty and torn, the jeans are the same, and the underwear—yes, I actually have underwear this time—is black. It comes with a demi bra, like the one I had on last night, and some boy shorts. I put the underwear on and then the clothes. The rip on the shirt goes right between my tits so the black bra is visible.
When I turn to look at myself in the mirror, I am a homeless crack whore.
I swallow down the bad feeling I'm getting about this day, slip my feet back into my sneakers, and walk down the stairs to the third floor.
Billy is waiting for me, checking his phone for a text or something. He looks up after his fingers finish their swiping, and smiles. "You look great!"
I'm not sure if he means I look great for this part I'm playing today or if that was a total joke, so I just say nothing.
"Oh, calm down, Rook. It's a simple shoot, no nudity or nothing, Antoine said. Although I'm disappointed at that, to be honest. You are very hot. So I'm just supposed to tell you what to do. Antoine thinks it's weird if he tells you himself, so I'm playing moderator today, I guess. To keep Ronin at bay once he finds out we did this while he was busy with Clare."
"With Clare?" I ask, my heart beating fast.
"Yeah, he's down in the first floor apartment with her, sleeping it off or whatever."
Sleeping it off? What the f**k does that mean? "What first floor apartment?"
Billy opens a door and ushers me in with a wave of his hand. "One of the extra ones Ronin uses for his girls."
Holy shit. I feel like a total idiot.
"Rook!" Antoine barks. "Over here." He points to a makeshift bedroom and I do as I'm told because all I want right now is to finish this shoot and get the hell out of this place. He talks to Billy in some amalgam of French and English and then Billy is telling me what to do. He touches me, has his hands all over me, kisses me a few times even, but nothing about this shoot is anything like the ones I did with Ronin. Billy is all business, and I suppose that's good. I mean, if a strange guy is getting paid to maul you, I guess you'd want to keep it professional. But nothing can stop the horror of him stripping my clothes off, fondling my br**sts, and then sitting me down in his lap, only in the underwear now, and placing my own hand between my legs as Antoine's camera clicks away.
And then it's over and I'm putting my clothes back on.
I have no idea what just happened, but I have never felt so f**king dirty in all my life.
Thankfully Billy takes my arm, chatting away pleasantly like this is just another day, and walks me out to the hallway. I stop at the stairs and come to my senses.
"I'll see you later, huh?"
He just continues to climb the stairs and calls out, "Sure thing!"
I walk down the stairs slowly, talking myself into believing this is just a big misunderstanding. Ronin is not sleeping it off with Clare. He was with me last night. We didn't go to bed until three in the morning, at least. I woke up at seven thirty. When did he find the time to sleep with another girl?
I've never explored the other floors before but Ronin freely admitted to taking his f**k buddies into these rooms. When I get to the first floor I walk down the hallway and try every door. They are all open, they are all shabby, and they are all empty. When I get to the last door, the one near the back of the building right next to the fire exit, I see a keypad.
I punch in Ronin's code and the door clicks as it unlocks. I twist the handle and push it open quietly, listening for sounds of people. Nothing. I open it more and step inside, leaving the door open behind me.
And I hear a faint moan.
I force myself to walk into the living room. It's pretty clear someone is living here because this place is furnished, maybe not nicely, but adequately. And there are old food containers that have the Cookie's Diner logo on them.
And there are clothes strewn about the floor. Underwear.
I walk farther in, towards the sound that has since ceased, and stop at a bedroom door that is slightly ajar. I can see in and I can see a bed.
And on that bed is Clare and Ronin.
Sleeping it off.
My heart beats wildly as I back out of the apartment, quietly close the door behind me, and push open the emergency exit door to get away as fast as I can. I push through a second door and then I'm in the parking lot out back near the freight elevators.
There are a whole bunch of people loading motorcycles and I weave my way through them, bumping into people, almost knocking down a bike, just doing anything I can to get away from this place. I push past a big guy and he grabs me by the arm as I flee. I turn to fight him off when I realize it's Spencer.