Jackson grins. “Club business, baby.”
“Right, it’s none of mine. Got it. Who’s hungry?”
I reach over, gripping the pizza box and pulling out a slice. I sit back, and watch as the two men grin, but reach over and take a slice each. I eat my pizza, and drink my beer in super time. My head begins feeling a little fuzzy, so I have another one, and another one. Jackson, Muff, and I talk about everything. Muff tells me about his family, Jackson talks about meeting Addison again for the first time, which has me curious.
“What about her mom?”
Jackson tenses. Oh. Oh.
Oh.
Jackson loved Addison’s mom. I don’t know a lot about the situation, but I know Addison’s mom died recently after an overdose. I also know she was a whore.
“I thought she was something she wasn’t, and it ended badly. She ran off with Addison, and I didn’t hear another word about her until she died.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, feeling awful for him. “Did you love her?”
Jackson looks shocked that I’d ask something like this. Does he think I’d be jealous of a dead woman? God, he’s so wrong.
“I did, I thought she was it, and then I found out she’d been lying. I can deal with a lot; I can’t deal with fuckin’ liars.”
My heart stops beating.
I’m almost sure of it.
I struggle to breathe, and my vision wavers. Liars. He hates liars. I’m a liar, and when he finds out, he’ll hate me. I will lose him. I’ve known it from the moment we started this, but I’d hoped it wouldn’t come to that. I press my beer to my mouth, and I swallow over and over until I choke. Jackson shakes his head, and gets off the couch to rub my back furiously.
“Slow down there darlin’, you ok?”
I look up into those green eyes, and I lose a piece of myself. I’m falling in love with him. This isn’t just sex. It’s an attraction that has buried itself deep into my soul, and I can’t get it back out. I feel a tear slide down my cheek, and Jackson leans forward, swiping it away with his thumb.
“Hey,” he says, gently. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s...” I have to lie. I have to figure this out once and for all, but tonight, I just want to forget it. I don’t want to think. For one moment I just want it to go away. “I just can’t imagine how much it must have hurt.”
He smiles weakly. “It’s in the past.”
I nod, and look past him to see Muff just watching us. My heart skitters. Curiosity burns deep inside me. I have wanted to ask a question for a long time, ever since I saw the two having sex with Kayla, but I’m afraid of the answer. Now seems like the perfect time to change the subject.
“Do you think Kayla is a whore?” I whisper.
Jackson reels back, shocked. “What?”
“A whore, do you think she’s a whore. Is that why you both fuck her at the same time?”
Jackson shakes his head. “Kayla is a whore, because she’s had every biker in my club. She isn’t a whore because she likes a threesome.”
“If she hadn’t had any of the guys, would you think she was a whore if she...if she...wanted it?”
Muff clues on before Jackson, and his eyes grow heavy with lust. He sets his beer down, and he stands.
“No,” Jackson says. “I wouldn’t think that. Ain’t nothing wrong with enjoying something in private. If she did it on a pool table, in the middle of a crowded club, then yeah, I’d think she was a whore. Plenty of people have kinks they like, darlin’, it don’t make them slutty. Why?”
“Jack’s,” Muff rasps. “You’re so fuckin’ slow.”
Jackson turns, staring at Muff walking towards us.
“What’re you talkin’ about?”
“She’s askin’, because she wants it, but she’s scared of bein’ considered a whore.”
Jackson jerks, and turns his eyes back to mine. “You...you want a threesome?”
“I...” I stare at Muff, then back at him. “I am curious, but I’m just...I’m not sure about any of it. I saw you two that night, and it played on my mind a little. I wondered what it would be like to be in Kayla’s position. I’m not sure I could be hardcore about it, god, I’ve never even given a head job in my life and...”
Both men growl. My cheeks heat.
“You can take it easy, or take it hard. There ain’t no rules, darlin’,” Jackson rasps.
Muff stops beside Jackson, and I stare up at the two of them. They’re so big when I’m down here, so powerful, so manly.
“I’m afraid, what if...what if I changed my mind?”
“You say stop,” Muff growls. “We stop. Simple.”
“And what if...what if someone found out...”
Jackson shakes his head. “Muff talks, I kill him. I won’t say a word. No one will know about this, but I will say this...I’m only doin’ it once. Serenity, you’re mine, and I won’t get into a habit of sharing you.”
My knees wobble, even though I’m sitting down.
I’m his.
I’m. His.
I lick my bottom lip, wondering if the alcohol is making this choice for me, or if it’s something I actually want. I have to admit to myself, that I’ve always been somewhat of a sexual person. I might not have experience, but I have always snuck erotic books into my room and read them over and over, relishing in the dirty, sexy scenes. I’ve always been curious about a ménage, and while it’s a lifestyle I know I couldn’t live, I would like to...try it.