Like there’s just nothing left.
As soon as I get back in, I curl up on a chair, facing the window. I stay there, even when Janine wakes and tries to get me out. I smile for Ebony, but it’s forced. Addi tries to make me eat, I decline. I don’t hear from Jackson, and I don’t care to. When the night falls, and the bikers start drinking, I finally move from my chair. No one is in the room, so I venture out, desperate for some water. Then I very much plan to go and sit back down to continue on being a prisoner.
I hear laughter outside, so I figure it’s safe enough to find the fridge and get what I need. I walk into the small kitchenette when I hear giggling, I squint and my blood runs cold. Kayla is sitting on the bench, legs spread, and Jackson is standing between them, clearly drunk by the way he’s swaying. He’s laughing about something. Laughing. Like the past few days have meant nothing to him. Like it doesn’t matter at all that I am in there, pregnant with his child.
I gasp.
He turns.
His eyes widen for a moment, before turning back to that cold emptiness. He’s not actually doing anything but standing there flirting, but it burns all the same. I spin around, gasping for air as I rush towards the front door. I get to it, realizing everyone is outside and turn frantically, heading for the back door. I get out and into the fresh air, and struggle to breathe it in. I feel a set of arms stop me, and I spin angrily to see Muff .
“Stop her!” I hear Jackson yell.
Muff tightens his grips on me, and when Jackson appears in the doorway, he rasps, “I got her boss, she’s fine.”
Jackson turns his eyes to me, but I look away.
“It wasn’t...”
“Go to hell, Jackson,” I rasp.
“I got it boss,” Muff says again. “I got it.”
“Serenity...” Jackson says again.
I glare at him, my entire body shaking. “Go to fuckin hell, Jackson. Didn’t you hear me?” I scream. “Just leave me alone. I don’t need you. I don’t want you. Just GO!”
He looks hurt. Fuck him for looking hurt. He has no right to look hurt.
“Don’t let her go,” he rasps to Muff.
“I won’t.”
He turns and disappears into the warehouse, and my knees crumble.
“Whoa, princess, hey...I got you.”
Muff wraps his arms around me, keeping me upright. He holds me until I stop shaking, and then I begin to struggle out of his arms.
“You can’t go out there alone, princess.”
“What do you care?” I bark. “I thought we were friends.”
“We are...”
“No,” I cry, shoving him backwards. “We’re not! You were going to shoot me.”
He looks like I’ve slapped him. “I wouldn’t have shot you, but I had to be a part of that.”
My lip trembles, and he stretches his hand out, offering his comfort. I shake my head furiously.
“I don’t want your help!” I cry.
“Yeah, you do. You’re fallin’ to pieces, Serenity.”
“I am not! I’m just doing what I have to do...”
“Until what?” he barks, shocking me. “Until you fall into a thousand fucking pieces, or you kill your fucking baby because you break down? You need someone, I don’t fucking care if you want it or not!”
“I just saw him in there with Kayla,” I whisper, dropping my head and giving in.
“Aw shit.”
“He wasn’t...it wasn’t like that, but...he doesn’t care about me,” I rasp. “He doesn’t care that I’m pregnant.”
“He cares, he’s just hurtin’...”
“I fucked up.”
“It can be undone.”
I shake my head. “I’m scared, Muff.”
“Hey, come here...come with me.”
He reaches out, and wearily I take his hand. He leads me inside and past Jackson, who watches us as we head to Muff’s made up bed on the floor. Muff sits on it, offering me his hand. I crawl down with him, and he pulls me into his arms.
“W-w-what are you doing?” I ask.
“Givin’ you some comfort. You’re fucked. Your eyes are dark and your body is tired. You need to rest. Lie down, let me hold you.”
“I...can’t.”
“You can,” he says gently. “Now come on.”
He pulls me down into his arms, and then rolls us so his chest is pressed against my back, and I’m tucked neatly against him. I close my eyes, forcing back the tears, and just enjoying a moment of comfort with someone. I feel Muff lift his head and shake it, and I know it’s towards Jackson. I don’t care. I just need someone to show me some sort of friendship, just for a moment.
Muff does that.
He holds onto me until I fall into a fitful sleep.
And he stays there with me all night.
~*~
JACKSON
DAY 3
“She’s not eaten a thing, boss. She’s starving.”
I stare at the window, my face blank as Cade speaks.
“Jackson!”
I turn slowly. “I can’t make her eat, Cade.”
“Fuck, what is wrong with you? She’s starving. Do you hear me? She’s fucking starving. She’ll kill that baby.”
“Probably for the best.”
Cade hits me, hard. “Snap the fuck out of it!”
I don’t move.
I don’t even blink.