Okay... I lit another cigarette. Cliff did not seem to have noticed nor minded that. His eyes and thoughts began to dive back to the past.
"With these kind of damage, I would be lying if I say everything was back to normal, okay, great, or forgiven. I had found inner strength and peace from God, but still, I would never forget nor pretend that the past had never happened.
The woman who was supposedly be my mother... she disgusted me. In fact, after what she did to me, I was terrified being with girls... until I met my-ex."
Cliff drew a deep breath and crossed his arms over his chest. He should know that I was looking at him, but he was not returning any eye contact.
"My ex and I, we were together for many good years. We had a great relationship, empowering and supporting. My ex brought out the best in me..." I was slightly jealous at Cliff's word, knowing that another woman had once been the main pillar of his life.
"I was thinking we could really grow old together, quietly without much fanfare. It was dreamlike, almost perfect. Only nothing in this world is ever perfect, right? We were tied down with something else. Like, hiding, you know what I mean? Perfectly in love, but no freedom to it. A satisfying and fulfilling relationship, but no future to it?"