But another revelation struck him, one tangled with feelings of inadequacy, falsity, self-judgement and a fear of a type he had never experienced before. It suddenly occurred to him that this girl, should she continue to grow as she was, might one day simply outgrow him, that he might one day be left trying to measure up to standards that were, in a word, beyond him.
Once again his thoughts drifted back to Nevana. Where the Elven girl was concerned, there was no such fear; it seemed that only an uncomplicated stability awaited him, that his relationship with the Elf girl was . . . he searched his mind for the right word, but “non-competitive” was the closest he could come, though it was not the word he was looking for.
Yet it was true. The Elf girl challenged him in no way whatsoever. All she represented in his mind was an insulated world of stability, and the minor sort of responsibilities he was built to cope with- a simple life, far from the dangers or prospect of war, with a home, a wife, and children.
And yet . . . and yet . . .
When the servants were done with him, and had left, Ralph said to Malina, ‘Would you like to come with me to the infirmary to see how Deborah and Theuli are doing, and then get something to eat?’