The Wizard and the Sylph - Page 126/573

Lily thought this over for a moment, grasping for any answer that would put her back on more solid ground. At last, she said, "What do you think I should do?"

Dorain smiled impishly.

Quietly opening the cell door, Lily entered and found Anest staring out of the small window into the blackness outside. His face was full of relief when he saw her. She closed the door, and they stood awkwardly, facing each other. After a moment, she crossed over to the window beside him, pretending to look outside. "I was with Dorain," she said.

"Oh, yes? What did she have to say?"

Lily shifted uncomfortably. "She said that we should . . . tell each other what's on our minds."

Anest digested this a moment. "Yes, I think she's right."

There was an uncomfortable silence as Lily steeled herself, needing desperately to be on an even ground she could trust, whatever the cost. Finally, stepping out, sparing herself nothing, she said, "Anest, would you tell me if I was a burden to you?"

He was aghast. "What kind of question is that?"

"Would you tell me?" she persisted.

Again, they were both silent for a long, uncomfortable time.

"Lily," he said at last, "I love you very much. Before that first night we spent together, I never knew what it was to be needed. Not like that. And . . . I never knew what it was to need someone so much. But . . ." He faltered, and she saw for the first time the pain he bore on her account. "You were in an impossible situation. I felt so guilty. I took away your life, made you dependant on me for everything. You had no freedom. No choice. I'm always so afraid that you're going to hate me