Just yesterday, he took me shopping, held my hand, he can spend all the time in the world with me and it still doesn’t seem like enough, yesterday he fell off to sleep on my couch simply because of lack of sleep, I mean he can leave my home at four in the morning and then be back at six am, I know the first day he didn’t sleep at all, someone who will even give up their sleep for me.
I mean for me there is no doubt that Julian is the one for me, it’s just a matter of if he feels the same way about me that I seem to feel for him.
He is so out of my league but I can’t help it, the more time I spend with him, he more my feelings grow. The amazing thing is for 20 years I have never been interested in anyone, within a year my world has turned on its axis and I have found myself with feelings for 2 guys. I mean yes I am attracted to Kale but ever since that piece of perfection. AKA Julian has walked into my life my feelings for Kale are totally platonic.
After I took him back to school Amy rushed to his side, she missed him, I really hope that they finally get together, I mean she clearly likes him and before I could come into the picture, she was the centre of his universe, I hope they can return to that. Kayla smiles at me, but after gauging Kales reaction, I think she knows what just happened, I don’t want to hurt him, but I’m not going to put myself through that grinder again, thinking and feeling like I’m less than Amy does not bode well with me, no longer am I going to feel inferior. If I agreed to try and make us work, part of me will always wonder if he still loves her or if he regrets choosing me and that’s something I never want to experience.