Of course, she jumped in after him. She remembered a feeling of carelessness coming over her as she went in, completely drenching her ball gown much to her dear mother's disgust later in the evening. Shivering, he pulled her close with nothing surrounding them but the water and the cold night air. "I love you my dear Jane. Don't you love me? " And she did. That was moment where she had given in to her weakness, and allowed herself to truly be with only him. "I do love you, Mr. Lefroy." And with that, he gave her the only kiss they had ever shared. Thinking of it now, she could still feel it on her lips, soft and warm. How she longed to be in that moment again, right there in that frigid water, looking up to the night sky, overcome with what she was convinced was the most happiness a person could feel in one moment.
And perhaps she could be in that moment again, if she could just force herself to give in to her stubbornness for once. Her stubbornness had gotten her into this mess in the first place, always going on about how she would rather marry for affection than wealth. And where did such beliefs ultimately get her? Still in Hampshire, unmarried and having endless reveries of a man that she couldn't have then and probably shouldn't have now. It weren't as though she hadn't had enough proposals. Why it seemed as though each week there was a new suitor at her door. If anything, she had become quite talented at turning them all down, one by one. She had always felt guilt afterward, but at the time could see no room in her heart for any man that was not Tom. The sheer stupidity of young girls, she thought. Always with their heads in the clouds, thinking that wealth was something one might come upon regularly, and that affection was of the most importance.
A woman must obey the rules of the society in which she lived. Jane laughed. She had been the most disobedient one of her time. In a time when women weren't allowed to have minds of their own, and especially minds that might produce wit and humorous thought, she had possessed all of these and more, perhaps. Of course looking back on it now, she might have kept her mouth shut.
Quietly going about her chores, Jane began to plan the next chapter of her novel. She was still unsure of it's ending, but was most certain that it would be a good one. Perhaps her characters might this time begin with great fortune only to have it taken away without a moments notice. She found it very hard to write of such things, for she only wanted happiness for her characters, just as she was still determined to find happiness for herself.