Ms. Austen - Page 39/44

She again turned from him and closed her eyes.

"Please leave me now sir, so that I might nurse my pride in peace." She did not open her eyes until she had heard his footsteps walking away from her. She then whispered. "I love you too. " into the still waters of the pond. Oh, what was she doing? She did love him too. Should she go after him? And say what? She had already hurt him like she had wanted. She wanted him to feel what she had felt every time he had said goodbye, every time she had heard the mere mention of his name. And of all of the things she had known he was capable of, that Catherine LeCour was not one of them. She looked into the water searching for the answers, as if they might be found directly in the pond itself. I will attend the ball tomorrow evening, and there I will make my intentions perfectly clear. He shall take one look at me and never want for anything ever again. With that decided, she began to walk in the cold night air to find her brother and sister.

As Tom started on the long walk back to his estate, he was confident that he had done right by telling Jane of his affections. And with this came much relief, for he knew that if she were still hurting, it could not be through any fault of his own. But as the former guilt of years gone by left him, a new feeling set in. The familiar feeling of the pain he had always felt of not being near her. He was certain that she would decline to attend the ball given the circumstance, and immediately return home to Hampshire.

He soon came to determine that this would be something he might just have to live with. Or without. He had done just what he had intended, and what more could he possibly do? Tom returned home that evening with the uneasy feeling that he would not see Jane Austen again. And when his aunt immediately rushed him upon opening the door, he made no mention of the events of that evening, just excused himself politely and retired to his room.

Meanwhile, Jane had finally found her brother and sister, exiting the opera house. "Jane! What has happened? Did Mr. Lefroy find you? Where is he?" Henry was confused. As they made their way back to Henry's estate, Jane explained the situation, and how very sorry she was to have doubted Tom. "That menacing woman!" Cassandra spoke of Ms. LaCour. "You can rest easy, sister." replied Henry. "That woman is far too dreadful to gain the affections of such a man as Tom Lefroy." Jane told them of her intent regarding the ball the following evening. She would first start with an apology, and then attempt to explain her actions, hoping Tom would understand. Men were far too much trouble sometimes. She smiled to herself.