Jude the Obsure - Page 123/318

"What!"

"And I wish with all my soul I could!"

Phillotson trembled, and his naturally pale face acquired a

corpselike sharpness in its lines. "I had no idea that it was of

this nature! God forbid!"

"No, no!" said Jude aghast. "I thought you understood? I mean that

were I in a position to marry her, or someone, and settle down,

instead of living in lodgings here and there, I should be glad!"

What he had really meant was simply that he loved her.

"But--since this painful matter has been opened up--what really

happened?" asked Phillotson, with the firmness of a man who felt that

a sharp smart now was better than a long agony of suspense hereafter.

"Cases arise, and this is one, when even ungenerous questions must be

put to make false assumptions impossible, and to kill scandal."

Jude explained readily; giving the whole series of adventures,

including the night at the shepherd's, her wet arrival at his

lodging, her indisposition from her immersion, their vigil of

discussion, and his seeing her off next morning.

"Well now," said Phillotson at the conclusion, "I take it as your

final word, and I know I can believe you, that the suspicion which

led to her rustication is an absolutely baseless one?"

"It is," said Jude solemnly. "Absolutely. So help me God!"

The schoolmaster rose. Each of the twain felt that the interview

could not comfortably merge in a friendly discussion of their recent

experiences, after the manner of friends; and when Jude had taken him

round, and shown him some features of the renovation which the old

cathedral was undergoing, Phillotson bade the young man good-day and

went away.

This visit took place about eleven o'clock in the morning; but no Sue

appeared. When Jude went to his dinner at one he saw his beloved

ahead of him in the street leading up from the North Gate, walking

as if no way looking for him. Speedily overtaking her he remarked

that he had asked her to come to him at the cathedral, and she had

promised.

"I have been to get my things from the college," she said--an

observation which he was expected to take as an answer, though it was

not one. Finding her to be in this evasive mood he felt inclined to

give her the information so long withheld.

"You have not seen Mr. Phillotson to-day?" he ventured to inquire.

"I have not. But I am not going to be cross-examined about him; and

if you ask anything more I won't answer!"