"That's the church," said Jude.
"Where I am going to be married?"
"Yes."
"Indeed!" she exclaimed with curiosity. "How I should like to go in
and see what the spot is like where I am so soon to kneel and do it."
Again he said to himself, "She does not realize what marriage means!"
He passively acquiesced in her wish to go in, and they entered by
the western door. The only person inside the gloomy building was
a charwoman cleaning. Sue still held Jude's arm, almost as if she
loved him. Cruelly sweet, indeed, she had been to him that morning;
but his thoughts of a penance in store for her were tempered by an
ache:
... I can find no way
How a blow should fall, such as falls on men,
Nor prove too much for your womanhood!
They strolled undemonstratively up the nave towards the altar
railing, which they stood against in silence, turning then and
walking down the nave again, her hand still on his arm, precisely
like a couple just married. The too suggestive incident, entirely
of her making, nearly broke down Jude.
"I like to do things like this," she said in the delicate voice of an
epicure in emotions, which left no doubt that she spoke the truth.
"I know you do!" said Jude.
"They are interesting, because they have probably never been done
before. I shall walk down the church like this with my husband in
about two hours, shan't I!"
"No doubt you will!"
"Was it like this when you were married?"
"Good God, Sue--don't be so awfully merciless! ... There, dear one,
I didn't mean it!"
"Ah--you are vexed!" she said regretfully, as she blinked away an
access of eye moisture. "And I promised never to vex you! ... I
suppose I ought not to have asked you to bring me in here. Oh, I
oughtn't! I see it now. My curiosity to hunt up a new sensation
always leads me into these scrapes. Forgive me! ... You will, won't
you, Jude?"
The appeal was so remorseful that Jude's eyes were even wetter than
hers as he pressed her hand for Yes.
"Now we'll hurry away, and I won't do it any more!" she continued
humbly; and they came out of the building, Sue intending to go
on to the station to meet Phillotson. But the first person they
encountered on entering the main street was the schoolmaster himself,
whose train had arrived sooner than Sue expected. There was nothing
really to demur to in her leaning on Jude's arm; but she withdrew her
hand, and Jude thought that Phillotson had looked surprised.