"Yes. I am reading Divinity harder than ever."
She regarded him curiously.
"Why do you look at me like that?" said Jude.
"Oh--why do you want to know?"
"I am sure you can tell me anything I may be ignorant of in that
subject. You must have learnt a lot of everything from your dear
dead friend!"
"We won't get on to that now!" she coaxed. "Will you be carving out
at that church again next week, where you learnt the pretty hymn?"
"Yes, perhaps."
"That will be very nice. Shall I come and see you there? It is in
this direction, and I could come any afternoon by train for half an
hour?"
"No. Don't come!"
"What--aren't we going to be friends, then, any longer, as we used to
be?"
"No."
"I didn't know that. I thought you were always going to be kind to
me!"
"No, I am not."
"What have I done, then? I am sure I thought we two--" The
_tremolo_ in her voice caused her to break off.
"Sue, I sometimes think you are a flirt," said he abruptly.
There was a momentary pause, till she suddenly jumped up; and to his
surprise he saw by the kettle-flame that her face was flushed.
"I can't talk to you any longer, Jude!" she said, the tragic
contralto note having come back as of old. "It is getting too dark
to stay together like this, after playing morbid Good Friday tunes
that make one feel what one shouldn't! ... We mustn't sit and talk
in this way any more. Yes--you must go away, for you mistake me! I
am very much the reverse of what you say so cruelly--Oh, Jude, it WAS
cruel to say that! Yet I can't tell you the truth--I should shock
you by letting you know how I give way to my impulses, and how much I
feel that I shouldn't have been provided with attractiveness unless
it were meant to be exercised! Some women's love of being loved is
insatiable; and so, often, is their love of loving; and in the last
case they may find that they can't give it continuously to the
chamber-officer appointed by the bishop's licence to receive it.
But you are so straightforward, Jude, that you can't understand
me! ... Now you must go. I am sorry my husband is not at home."
"Are you?"
"I perceive I have said that in mere convention! Honestly I don't
think I am sorry. It does not matter, either way, sad to say!"