Jude the Obsure - Page 178/318

Some days passed, and the evening of their last meal together had

come--a cloudy evening with wind--which indeed was very seldom absent

in this elevated place. How permanently it was imprinted upon his

vision; that look of her as she glided into the parlour to tea;

a slim flexible figure; a face, strained from its roundness, and

marked by the pallors of restless days and nights, suggesting tragic

possibilities quite at variance with her times of buoyancy; a trying

of this morsel and that, and an inability to eat either. Her nervous

manner, begotten of a fear lest he should be injured by her course,

might have been interpreted by a stranger as displeasure that

Phillotson intruded his presence on her for the few brief minutes

that remained.

"You had better have a slice of ham or an egg, or something with your

tea? You can't travel on a mouthful of bread and butter."

She took the slice he helped her to; and they discussed as they sat

trivial questions of housekeeping, such as where he would find the

key of this or that cupboard, what little bills were paid, and what

not.

"I am a bachelor by nature, as you know, Sue," he said, in a heroic

attempt to put her at her ease. "So that being without a wife will

not really be irksome to me, as it might be to other men who have

had one a little while. I have, too, this grand hobby in my head of

writing 'The Roman Antiquities of Wessex,' which will occupy all my

spare hours."

"If you will send me some of the manuscript to copy at any time,

as you used to, I will do it with so much pleasure!" she said with

amenable gentleness. "I should much like to be some help to you

still--as a--friend."

Phillotson mused, and said: "No, I think we ought to be really

separate, if we are to be at all. And for this reason, that I don't

wish to ask you any questions, and particularly wish you not to give

me information as to your movements, or even your address... Now,

what money do you want? You must have some, you know."

"Oh, of course, Richard, I couldn't think of having any of your money

to go away from you with! I don't want any either. I have enough of

my own to last me for a long while, and Jude will let me have--"

"I would rather not know anything about him, if you don't mind.

You are free, absolutely; and your course is your own."