Jude the Obsure - Page 213/318

The child fell into a steady mechanical creep which had in it an

impersonal quality--the movement of the wave, or of the breeze, or

of the cloud. He followed his directions literally, without an

inquiring gaze at anything. It could have been seen that the boy's

ideas of life were different from those of the local boys. Children

begin with detail, and learn up to the general; they begin with the

contiguous, and gradually comprehend the universal. The boy seemed

to have begun with the generals of life, and never to have concerned

himself with the particulars. To him the houses, the willows,

the obscure fields beyond, were apparently regarded not as brick

residences, pollards, meadows; but as human dwellings in the

abstract, vegetation, and the wide dark world.

He found the way to the little lane, and knocked at the door of

Jude's house. Jude had just retired to bed, and Sue was about to

enter her chamber adjoining when she heard the knock and came down.

"Is this where Father lives?" asked the child.

"Who?"

"Mr. Fawley, that's his name."

Sue ran up to Jude's room and told him, and he hurried down as soon

as he could, though to her impatience he seemed long.

"What--is it he--so soon?" she asked as Jude came.

She scrutinized the child's features, and suddenly went away into the

little sitting-room adjoining. Jude lifted the boy to a level with

himself, keenly regarded him with gloomy tenderness, and telling him

he would have been met if they had known of his coming so soon, set

him provisionally in a chair whilst he went to look for Sue, whose

supersensitiveness was disturbed, as he knew. He found her in the

dark, bending over an arm-chair. He enclosed her with his arm, and

putting his face by hers, whispered, "What's the matter?"

"What Arabella says is true--true! I see you in him!"

"Well: that's one thing in my life as it should be, at any rate."

"But the other half of him is--SHE! And that's what I can't bear!

But I ought to--I'll try to get used to it; yes, I ought!"

"Jealous little Sue! I withdraw all remarks about your sexlessness.

Never mind! Time may right things... And Sue, darling; I have an

idea! We'll educate and train him with a view to the university.

What I couldn't accomplish in my own person perhaps I can carry out

through him? They are making it easier for poor students now, you

know."

"Oh you dreamer!" said she, and holding his hand returned to the

child with him. The boy looked at her as she had looked at him.

"Is it you who's my REAL mother at last?" he inquired.