Jude the Obsure - Page 277/318

"But they won't--Sue won't!" exclaimed Phillotson to himself.

"Gillingham is so matter of fact. She's affected by Christminster

sentiment and teaching. I can see her views on the indissolubility

of marriage well enough, and I know where she got them. They are not

mine; but I shall make use of them to further mine."

He wrote a brief reply to Gillingham. "I know I am entirely wrong,

but I don't agree with you. As to her having lived with and had

three children by him, my feeling is (though I can advance no logical

or moral defence of it, on the old lines) that it has done little

more than finish her education. I shall write to her, and learn

whether what that woman said is true or no."

As he had made up his mind to do this before he had written to his

friend, there had not been much reason for writing to the latter at

all. However, it was Phillotson's way to act thus.

He accordingly addressed a carefully considered epistle to Sue, and,

knowing her emotional temperament, threw a Rhadamanthine strictness

into the lines here and there, carefully hiding his heterodox

feelings, not to frighten her. He stated that, it having come to his

knowledge that her views had considerably changed, he felt compelled

to say that his own, too, were largely modified by events subsequent

to their parting. He would not conceal from her that passionate

love had little to do with his communication. It arose from a wish

to make their lives, if not a success, at least no such disastrous

failure as they threatened to become, through his acting on what

he had considered at the time a principle of justice, charity, and

reason.

To indulge one's instinctive and uncontrolled sense of justice and

right, was not, he had found, permitted with impunity in an old

civilization like ours. It was necessary to act under an acquired

and cultivated sense of the same, if you wished to enjoy an average

share of comfort and honour; and to let crude loving kindness take

care of itself.

He suggested that she should come to him there at Marygreen.

On second thoughts he took out the last paragraph but one; and having

rewritten the letter he dispatched it immediately, and in some

excitement awaited the issue.

A few days after a figure moved through the white fog which enveloped

the Beersheba suburb of Christminster, towards the quarter in which

Jude Fawley had taken up his lodging since his division from Sue. A

timid knock sounded upon the door of his abode.