Jude the Obsure - Page 279/318

He shook his head hopelessly, his eyes wet. The blow of her

bereavement seemed to have destroyed her reasoning faculty. The once

keen vision was dimmed. "All wrong, all wrong!" he said huskily.

"Error--perversity! It drives me out of my senses. Do you care for

him? Do you love him? You know you don't! It will be a fanatic

prostitution--God forgive me, yes--that's what it will be!"

"I don't love him--I must, must, own it, in deepest remorse! But I

shall try to learn to love him by obeying him."

Jude argued, urged, implored; but her conviction was proof against

all. It seemed to be the one thing on earth on which she was firm,

and that her firmness in this had left her tottering in every other

impulse and wish she possessed.

"I have been considerate enough to let you know the whole truth,

and to tell it you myself," she said in cut tones; "that you might

not consider yourself slighted by hearing of it at second hand. I

have even owned the extreme fact that I do not love him. I did not

think you would be so rough with me for doing so! I was going to

ask you..."

"To give you away?"

"No. To send--my boxes to me--if you would. But I suppose you

won't."

"Why, of course I will. What--isn't he coming to fetch you--to marry

you from here? He won't condescend to do that?"

"No--I won't let him. I go to him voluntarily, just as I went away

from him. We are to be married at his little church at Marygreen."

She was so sadly sweet in what he called her wrong-headedness that

Jude could not help being moved to tears more than once for pity of

her. "I never knew such a woman for doing impulsive penances, as

you, Sue! No sooner does one expect you to go straight on, as the

one rational proceeding, than you double round the corner!"

"Ah, well; let that go! ... Jude, I must say good-bye! But I wanted

you to go to the cemetery with me. Let our farewell be there--beside

the graves of those who died to bring home to me the error of my

views."

They turned in the direction of the place, and the gate was opened to

them on application. Sue had been there often, and she knew the way

to the spot in the dark. They reached it, and stood still.

"It is here--I should like to part," said she.