Women in Love - Page 144/392

They came to the landing-stage. Wet and naked-looking, Gerald climbed

up the few steps. There stood his father, in the night.

'Father!' he said.

'Yes my boy? Go home and get those things off.' 'We shan't save them, father,' said Gerald.

'There's hope yet, my boy.' 'I'm afraid not. There's no knowing where they are. You can't find

them. And there's a current, as cold as hell.' 'We'll let the water out,' said the father. 'Go home you and look to

yourself. See that he's looked after, Rupert,' he added in a neutral

voice.

'Well father, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm afraid it's my fault. But it

can't be helped; I've done what I could for the moment. I could go on

diving, of course--not much, though--and not much use--' He moved away barefoot, on the planks of the platform. Then he trod on

something sharp.

'Of course, you've got no shoes on,' said Birkin.

'His shoes are here!' cried Gudrun from below. She was making fast her

boat.

Gerald waited for them to be brought to him. Gudrun came with them. He

pulled them on his feet.

'If you once die,' he said, 'then when it's over, it's finished. Why

come to life again? There's room under that water there for thousands.' 'Two is enough,' she said murmuring.

He dragged on his second shoe. He was shivering violently, and his jaw

shook as he spoke.

'That's true,' he said, 'maybe. But it's curious how much room there

seems, a whole universe under there; and as cold as hell, you're as

helpless as if your head was cut off.' He could scarcely speak, he

shook so violently. 'There's one thing about our family, you know,' he

continued. 'Once anything goes wrong, it can never be put right

again--not with us. I've noticed it all my life--you can't put a thing

right, once it has gone wrong.' They were walking across the high-road to the house.

'And do you know, when you are down there, it is so cold, actually, and

so endless, so different really from what it is on top, so endless--you

wonder how it is so many are alive, why we're up here. Are you going? I

shall see you again, shan't I? Good-night, and thank you. Thank you

very much!' The two girls waited a while, to see if there were any hope. The moon

shone clearly overhead, with almost impertinent brightness, the small

dark boats clustered on the water, there were voices and subdued

shouts. But it was all to no purpose. Gudrun went home when Birkin

returned.