Women in Love - Page 236/392

'I am so glad to see you,' she said to Ursula, in her slow voice, that

was like an incantation. 'You and Rupert have become quite friends?' 'Oh yes,' said Ursula. 'He is always somewhere in the background.' Hermione paused before she answered. She saw perfectly well the other

woman's vaunt: it seemed truly vulgar.

'Is he?' she said slowly, and with perfect equanimity. 'And do you

think you will marry?' The question was so calm and mild, so simple and bare and dispassionate

that Ursula was somewhat taken aback, rather attracted. It pleased her

almost like a wickedness. There was some delightful naked irony in

Hermione.

'Well,' replied Ursula, 'HE wants to, awfully, but I'm not so sure.' Hermione watched her with slow calm eyes. She noted this new expression

of vaunting. How she envied Ursula a certain unconscious positivity!

even her vulgarity!

'Why aren't you sure?' she asked, in her easy sing song. She was

perfectly at her ease, perhaps even rather happy in this conversation.

'You don't really love him?' Ursula flushed a little at the mild impertinence of this question. And

yet she could not definitely take offence. Hermione seemed so calmly

and sanely candid. After all, it was rather great to be able to be so

sane.

'He says it isn't love he wants,' she replied.

'What is it then?' Hermione was slow and level.

'He wants me really to accept him in marriage.' Hermione was silent for some time, watching Ursula with slow, pensive

eyes.

'Does he?' she said at length, without expression. Then, rousing, 'And

what is it you don't want? You don't want marriage?' 'No--I don't--not really. I don't want to give the sort of SUBMISSION

he insists on. He wants me to give myself up--and I simply don't feel

that I CAN do it.' Again there was a long pause, before Hermione replied: 'Not if you don't want to.' Then again there was silence. Hermione

shuddered with a strange desire. Ah, if only he had asked HER to

subserve him, to be his slave! She shuddered with desire.

'You see I can't--' 'But exactly in what does--' They had both begun at once, they both stopped. Then, Hermione,

assuming priority of speech, resumed as if wearily: 'To what does he want you to submit?' 'He says he wants me to accept him non-emotionally, and finally--I

really don't know what he means. He says he wants the demon part of

himself to be mated--physically--not the human being. You see he says

one thing one day, and another the next--and he always contradicts

himself--' 'And always thinks about himself, and his own dissatisfaction,' said

Hermione slowly.