Athalie - Page 160/222

Something of this Clive seemed to understand; and the understanding

left him very serious and silent where he stood in the soft glow of

the lamp with this young girl in his arms and her warm, sweet head on

his breast.

He said after a long silence: "You are right, Athalie. It is better,

safer, not to respond to me. I'm just in love with you and I want to

marry you--that's all. I shall not be unhappy about it. I am not, now.

If I marry you, you'll fall in love, too, in your own way. That will

be as it should be. I could desire no more than that. I do desire

nothing more."

He looked down at her, smiled, releasing her gently. But she clung to

him for a moment.

"You are so wonderful, Clive--so dear! I do love you. I will marry

you if I can. I want to make up everything to you--the lonely years,

your deep unhappiness--even," she added shyly, "your little

disappointment in me--"

"You don't understand, Athalie. I am not disappointed--"

"I do understand. And I am thinking of what will happen if you fail

to free yourself.... Because I realize now that I don't propose to

leave you to grow old all alone.... I shall live with you when you're

old whatever people may think. I tell you, Clive, I'm the same child,

the same girl that you once knew, only grown into a woman. I know

right from wrong. I had rather not do wrong. But if I've got to--I

won't whimper. And I'll do it thoroughly!"

"You won't do it at all," he said, smiling at her threat to the little

tin gods.

"I don't know. If they won't give you your freedom, and if--"

"Nonsense, Athalie," he said, laughing, coolly master of himself once

more. "We mustn't be unwholesomely romantic, you and I. I'll marry you

if I can; if I can't, God help us, that's all."

But she had become very grave: "God help us," she repeated slowly.

"Because I believe that, rightly or wrongly, I shall one day belong to

you."

He said: "It can be only in one way. The right way." Perhaps he had

awakened too late to a realisation of his power over her, for the girl

made no response, no longer even looked at him.

"Only one way," he repeated, uneasily;--"the right way, Athalie."

But into her dark blue eyes had come a vague and brooding beauty

which he had never before seen. In it was tenderness, and a new

wisdom, alas! and a faint and shadowy something, profound, starlike,

inscrutable.