Are you trying to nauseate me into answering? I asked. Add a new mess to the floor? Thats all this farce is going to do.
She leaned back from me, lifting an eyebrow. No compassion for your ally?
The Nightlord is not my ally, I snapped. As everyone in this den of nightmares has repeatedly warned me, he is a monster. But since hes no different from the rest of you who want me dead, I thought I might at least use his power to help my people.
Scimina looked skeptical. And what help did he provide? You made the effort in Menchey the next night.
None; dawn came too quickly. But I faltered here, remembering my grandmothers arms and the smell of the humid Darren air that night. I did miss her, and Darr itself, and all the peace I had once known there. Before Sky. Before my mothers death.
I lowered my eyes and let my very real pain show. Only that would appease Scimina.
We spoke of my mother, I said, softer. And other things, personal thingsnone of which should have any importance to you. With this I glared at her. And even if you roast that creature all night, I will not share those things with you.
Scimina gazed at me for a long moment, her smile gone, her eyes dissecting my face. Between and beyond us, Nahadoth finally made another sound through his teeth, an animal snarl. There were more hideous tearing sounds. I made myself not care by hating Scimina.
Finally she sighed and stepped away from me. So be it, she said. It was a feeble attempt, Cousin; you must have realized it had almost no chance of succeeding. Im going to contact Gemd and tell him to resume the attack. Theyll take control of your capital and crush any resistance, though Ill tell them to hold off on slaughtering your peoplemore than necessaryfor the time being.
So there it was, laid plain: I would have to do her bidding, or she would unleash the Mencheyev to wipe my people out of existence. I scowled. What guarantee do I have that you wont kill them anyway?
None whatsoever. After this foolishness, Im tempted to do it just for spite. But Id rather the Darre survive, now that I think about it. I imagine their lives wont be pleasant. Slavery rarely isthough well call it something else, of course. She glanced at Nahadoth, amused. But they will be alive, Cousin, and where there is life, there is hope. Isnt that worth something to you? Worth a whole world, perhaps?
I nodded slowly, though my innards clenched in new knots. I would not grovel. It will do for now.
For now? Scimina stared at me, incredulous, then began to laugh. Oh, Cousin. Sometimes I wish your mother were still alive. She at least could have given me a real challenge.
I had lost my knife, but I was still Darre. I whipped around and hit her so hard that one of her heeled shoes came off as she sprawled across the floor.
Probably, I said, as she blinked away shock and what I hoped was a concussion. But my mother was civilized.
Fists tight enough to sting at my sides, I turned my back on the whole arena and walked out.
21
First Love
I ALMOST FORGOT. When I first arrived in Sky, Tvril informed me that the highbloods sometimes gather for dinner in one of the fancier halls. This happened once during my time there, but I chose not to attend. There are rumors about Sky, you see. Some of them are exaggerations, and many are true, as I discovered. But there is one rumor I hoped never to confirm.
The Amn were not always civilized, the rumors remind us. Once, like High North, Senm was also a land of barbarians, and the Amn were simply the most successful of these. After the Gods War they imposed their barbarian ways on the whole world and judged the rest of us by how thoroughly we adopted thembut they did not export all of their customs. Every culture has its ugly secrets. And once, the rumors say, Amn elites prized the taste of human flesh above all other delicacies.
Sometimes I am more afraid of the blood in my veins than the souls in my flesh.
* * *
When Nahadoths torture ended, the clouds resumed moving across the night sky. They had been still, a caul over the moon that glimmered with arcs of color like weak, sickly rainbows. When the clouds finally moved on, something in me relaxed.
I had half-expected the knock at the door when it came, so I called enter. In the glasss reflection I saw Tvril, hovering uncertainly in the doorway.
Yeine, he said, then faltered to silence.
I left him floundering in it for a while before saying, Come in.
He stepped inside, just enough to allow the door to shut. Then he just looked at me, perhaps waiting for me to speak. But I had nothing to say to him, and eventually he sighed.
The Enefadeh can endure pain, he said. Theyve dealt with far worse over the centuries, believe me. What I wasnt sure of was your endurance.
Thank you for your confidence.
Tvril winced at my tone. I just knew you cared for Sieh. When Scimina started in on him, I thought He looked away, spread his hands helplessly. I thought it would be better for you not to see.