The Grey God - Page 122/164

"The last day I remember her, she invited me to a picnic outside the city, near a stream. We were newly mated and made love under a tree near a fountain. Afterwards, I went to the horses to grab our lunch. It's my last memory of the immortal world until I returned a day ago."

"Ikir Damian avenged you when he finally learned of what happened," Jenn said quietly.

"I remember every day enslaved to the Black God," Darian said. "I remember every time she visited to donate more blood to keep me enslaved. She was proud of what she'd done, how she'd beaten the White God. Her only regret: the Schism kept her from becoming the rightful queen of the immortal world. Poor timing for her, good for me."

"I wouldn't call thousands of years enslaved good timing," Jenn voiced. Her features were still, her dark eyes riveted to him. He saw his pain in her gaze.

"I could've been outright killed."

"Your fate was much worse than death."

"At first, when Sofi freed my mind, I thought so. I don't think that way now."

"I can't accept my past that easily," Jenn said.

"Mine made me what I am, Jenn. A life with Claire would've been more hellish than a life with the Black God," he said with a smile. "And it would've prevented a life with you."

Confusion crossed her features. "Darian-"

"My turn," he interjected. "Me."

Jenn looked away again. "No."

"Rules of the game. You have to answer."

"How do I answer that?" she demanded and rose, moving to the window. "What do you want me to say, Darian?"

"Easy. Yes or no."

"It's not that easy."

"Tell me why."

"You know why!"

"I want to hear you say it," he insisted, joining her at the window.

Jenn's distraught features gazed up at him, and he felt bad again for causing her any sort of pain. The air between them was electric, her breathing uneven.

"We've established there's no one between us but you," he pushed. "Not Claire, not your mate-past or present-no one. Just you."

"I'm terrified, Darian!" she snapped. Her voice rose until she was shouting at him, and any control she had over herself slid away. "When I left the immortal world, I taught myself not to feel, never to be vulnerable to someone else hurting me. I'll live with their deaths on my shoulders for the rest of my life. That's what love does to you, Darian! It makes you vulnerable. It destroys you over the course of a very, very long time! If that means I dive off a cliff to keep the Others from using me against you, I'll do it. I couldn't bear it, Darian, if I hurt you like Claire did or to be hurt like that again!"