The Grey God - Page 88/164

"Me, neither. Did I tell you right before Bianca, I started dreaming of my sister?" he asked. "She died before the Schism. I rarely thought about her until that point when I began dreaming about her every night. I thought I was meant to die, and she was warning me."

"You did for a short time," she said, recalling the battle that killed Czerno, the previous Black God, and replaced him with Jonny. "She fixed you."

"What I went through before was what you're going through now. I, too, had my guard pulled down by my past. Nothing else in the world seemed out of place, except for that piece inside of you that you thought you buried."

"That's exactly it," she said quietly. "Dusty, it can't happen. If Jonny found out, if the Others grab me, they'll use me to destroy Darian. I can't let that happen to him again. I can't let my emotions interfere with a mission."

"When you're dehydrated, you gotta drink the water," Dusty teased. "I never would've been open to Bianca if there hadn't been that … change within me."

"I won't do it, Dusty. I won't put him in danger."

"Or become vulnerable to someone else hurting you."

"Or become vulnerable to … fuck you, Dusty," she muttered. "Fine. That's part of it. But it's not all about me."

"Of course not. You care about the other person in the equation."

"You're not helping."

"I'll tell you the truth, Jenn. It's very simple."

She looked up hopefully.

"You're fucked." He was smiling. "Things will either work out or they won't. But it's beyond your control now. What you need to focus on is surviving the next two weeks. After that, whatever happens, happens."

"You're right. I lost sight of my mission," she said, grateful for the one piece of advice she could stomach. "But he's with me there, Dusty. How do I protect him?"

"You don't. You let him protect himself. Darian has magic far stronger than either of ours. You need to make your choices, and he needs to make his."

"It feels like entrapment."

"It is."

She waited for more. "I guess I'm doomed."

"A good assessment. I never saw that one coming, though," he said. "I could've guessed Darian would fall for you the way he followed you around. But I thought you'd fall for someone less … wild."