Deidre's Death - Page 53/119

Gabriel released her and moved away. Deidre felt the pain again, the one without a physical source but which she felt as if a knife was piercing her soul.

"You both lied to me," he said. "You both trusted Darkyn over me."

No, this definitely wasn't what she expected when she made the choices she did long ago to start this chain-of-events. She didn't remember what those choices involved but didn't think it mattered. The chain-of-events had unfolded the way she planned, except that Gabriel didn't fall into her lap, and she had lost all her power in the process. There was too much resentment in his voice for it to be the result of one week with the human she created.

Her Gabriel had distrusted her - hated her even? - for much longer. Dysfunctional? She thought what they had was special, never realizing he was miserable. Her chin trembled, and suddenly, she cursed the human emotions. They made her weak and frightened. The goddess she had been would mock her for choosing to become what she'd always despised.

What happened if Gabriel didn't want to be with her at all? If she lost her deal with the human and Darkyn came to collect? The mating laws from the time-before-time were absolute, but what if Darkyn and Gabriel made their own private deal to return the human Gabriel loved and abandon past-Death to the hands of the Dark One?

She shivered. She never thought she had a chance of losing this round.

"For what it's worth, Gabriel, I've always loved you," she said in a low, tight voice.

Unable to look at him or control the tears starting to form, Deidre walked away.

There was a good chance that human-Deidre was dead by now anyway. She didn't want to know what happened at the end of the week, when Darkyn showed up to claim her soul.

She'd already lost two days. How could she possibly win in the next five?

*****

Gabriel watched Deidre's small form walk into the forest. Her shoulders were hunched, her head down. He felt her pain but didn't know what to do about it. For the first time in their relationship, he'd been completely honest with her. Unfortunately, he realized he would rather have told the goddess version of her the truth than the fragile human.

Even so, she hadn't even considered telling him whatever it was she was hiding. He wasn't certain what frustrated him more: knowing he hurt her or knowing she'd changed every part of her - but the one that mattered. The one that might one day consider him an equal worth trusting with her heart.