Not that he'd ever tell her.
"Well, I hired you a babysitter anyway," she said. "A really fat, old, ugly woman with warts, so you're not tempted to replace me."
"You're only going away for a week."
"Someone has to make you coffee."
"I can make my own."
"Someone has to keep you on schedule. Which reminds me, you've got a ten o'clock today with your producer to plan out shooting for the next season," Ingrid said. "You'd never stay on schedule without me."
"Probably true." Not that he cared too much. He was at a place in the industry where he did what he pleased. Ingrid was hyper-organized. She did all the cleaning, scheduling, finances. She found him sources of human-food when he traveled for the show.
She was useful for now.
"I wrote down the rules," she continued. "I screened this lady and made sure she's not going to try to steal your cooking secrets or a plant for the paparazzi or something."
"I can handle those types of issues."
"You know, people do ask questions if someone just randomly disappears," Ingrid pointed out. "I can cover up the girls who accidentally get hit by cars. I can't cover up a complete disappearance."
"How is the one from last night?" he asked.
"She's fine. Her boobs acted like airbags. Good thing they're fake, though she probably needs new ones."
"Pay the hospital bill anonymously and for any cosmetic surgery she wants," he said.
"I want new boobs."
Xander smiled at the bitterness in Ingrid's tone. It wasn't just because of her jealousy over the fact he slept with everyone, it was also her insecurity. She was like a walking rectangle with a bird face, and she got outright hostile towards the beautiful women she escorted out of his home every morning.
"So glad you don't believe in the permanency of buying," she muttered. Months ago, she argued unsuccessfully for him to buy rather than lease the condo. "Don't ever get smitten by some blonde with big boobs. I still got a chance, as long as you keep renting a new girl every night."
"You've got no chance," he reminded her. "You had your night."
"Yeah," she sighed. "X-"
"Nope." He pushed the memory out of her mind, not wanting to have the discussion again. It was good being able to manipulate the minds of everyone around him.
Her attention shifted to her laptop once more.
"Omigod!" she exclaimed. "Your temporary babysitter was supposed to come by at noon today so I could run through things with her. She's postponing until tomorrow morning. I'm leaving today!"
"You wrote the rules down. If she doesn't follow them, I'll make sure no one finds the body," he said calmly.